Yeah, that's me.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Quote of the day....

Dylan to Jake tonight while they were playing:

"Daddy! If YOU jump you will break the whole house!!!"

hahahaha!!! That's awesome.

Gotta give some love!


My flower girl and ring bearer are all grown up with a blog all their own! *sniff*

I am so looking forward to seeing what they have in store for blogland! ;-) Both are AMAZING talents and even more amazing kids! Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Some Pretty Amazing Art

I ran acrossed this tonight.

UH-MAY-ZING. Seriously.

I found it by clicking on a Yahoo link about a guy who created an entire oil painting just by using the oil from FRENCH FRIES. That was kinda gross, but his art is amazing. I stared at his page, jaw dropped most of the time. Check it out.

Dylan's Alphabet


I'm a little pee


This was Dylan's version of the alphabet tonight at bedtime! hahahahaha!!!! How cute is that?

Slumber party with mom!

Since Jake was gone last night I decided that we'd toss the normal routine out the window and just chill last night. The boys played like crazy and then sat in front of the boob tube for awhile. They were tired but in all honesty, I didn't want them to go to bed at their normal time either. I know, mean mom. ;-) I hate being home alone after the boys go to bed when it's that creepy quiet in the house.
Around 8:30/9 I suggested we make COOKIES! I wrote down the word in big letters on a piece of paper and made Dylan sound it out before we made them. He was SO EXCITED when he figured out what it was! So, we made cookies. That was interesting. Luckily Owen was asleep so I could give the boys all of my attention, which was definately needed. They took turns adding ingredients and watching the mixer mix the dough. We had a few close calls b/c Aidan thought he might like to stick his hand in the mixer....caught him just in time. Goodness that kid has NO FEAR. Dylan on the other hand was very cautious. ;-) I spooned out the dough onto the cookie sheet....I had them point to where they wanted me to put it since I wasn't letting them touch the dough. I didn't want to deal with that mess. Aidan was a sneaky little stink...he kept sticking his finger in the dough and eating it, to which I said "you are going to get sick if you keep eating that!" I was nervous he'd have an upset tummy all night. Luckily he didn't.
After the cookies came out of the oven I let them have ONE. They were so excited to see their "creation." haha! I should have anticipated some whining after that b/c they wanted MORE cookies. I finally suggested something else to do....BOOKS. They grabbed a bunch of books from their room and brought them out the couch. We piled on the couch and read all of them. That was kind of fun b/c they actually sat there and paid attention! They rarely sit for that long during books. ;-) After books I let them get into our bed and watch a movie. "Mozart Sleepy Time" haha! ;-) wink wink! They thought they were getting to watch a movie and I knew they were getting a chance to wind down. I should say I THOUGHT they were actually.... I found them in there playing about 10 minutes later! ha! Stinkers. I had been feeding Owen in the living room and could hear them giggling. We turned off the movie and went into their room for prayers and tucking in. I didn't hear a peep out of them all night! I was happy!

Around 1 a.m. when I was heading to bed I went and got Dylan up to go to the bathroom. He decided again last night he wanted to go without a diaper. I got him up, he went and I put him back to bed. Around 3 he climbed into bed with me and I barely noticed. I was so tired! All I remember was him saying "will you get my paci out of my bed?" and I rolled over and went back to sleep! HAHA!! I can't believe I didn't go get it for him! THat makes me laugh. He managed fine without it apparently b/c he went to sleep too. At 6 a.m. he SHOT straight up in bed and startled me. I said "what's wrong bud?" and he said "PEE. I HAVE TO PEE" haha! I said "quick, get to the bathroom quick!" and he ran in there. Luckily he made it fine. :D I checked our bed and it was dry thankfully! We went back to bed but the Owen was up to eat so I brought him to our bed too. I think we were able to sleep about two more hours after that. I still didn't roll out of bed though until 9:30. haha! I love just laying in bed even when you're still awake. It's nice and cozy. Dylan on the other hand was up. He is always up the minute he SENSES daylight!

It's raining/snowing off and on today. Everytime I look out the window it's different. Hopefully the roads won't be TOO bad for Jake coming home. I'll be glad when he's home.

Today my grandma is having her lung biopsy. :( I hope that goes well and that she makes it through it fine and that it comes back okay. Praying praying praying it's not cancer.

Laundry is beckoning.....

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Okay so I lied....

.... and now the snow has coated our grass, street, truck, mailbox, bushes, and trees. God are you giving us a glimpse of North Dakota???


It's Raining It's Pouring The Children Are Snoring....

All the kids are napping and Jake and I are sitting here on the couch listening to the water through the gutters and watching the extremely heavy snow fall. These flakes, er chunks, of snow are HUGE. It isn't sticking though, which is fine with me. We'll have our fair share of stuck on snow in about another month. That's right, another month. We have a little over 30 days before we begin our trek to North Dakota. So far I have only cleaned out the toys. In fact, here is an excerpt from an email I sent to my VERY organized friend. She said she was CLAPPING as she read it she was so excited for me. She knows I have not a single organizing bone in my body. ;-)

"Today I did AWESOME (if I do say so myself) with the toys. I set up bins for organizing/sorting and then I set up two mesh laundry baskets and I told Dylan that one was for toys to keep and one was for toys to give to other little boys who didn't have as many toys. I said we would take them to the Goodwill store. Later tonight he said "Who is Mr. Goodwill and why does he want to take my toys?" hahahaha! I thought I would die. ANyway, he FILLED the mesh basket for donations! YEAH!!That was close to half of their toys! I was so proud of him! He picked everything to go in there too and every time he said "I think I will give this to other little boys" :D We organized the toys we were keeping and got everything put away and the entire room vacuumed up, even moved furniture! :D We rearranged their room (not that it really matters b/c we don't have much longer here but he enjoyed it) and got everything set up all neat. I even have an entire garbage bag full of stuff to trash. It was broken toys, paper cups (they get their own water from the fridge when they want and I don't always know), broken crayons, paper airplanes that had seen better days. All that kind of stuff. A WHOLE BAG! OMGosh!! ;-) I hope we can keep it that way. Now we need to go through their clothes. I think I will let them do the same thing with those too..... pick which ones they want to keep and which ones the wany to donate. That seemed to work well and Dylan really enjoyed doing it. I say "Dylan" b/c Aidan really didn't get what we were doing. I had to direct him a lot."

So that was my big cleaning/organizing/purging event of the week. Lame I know, but for an unorganized girl like me, it's a big deal.
My sister in law is coming to help me purge/organize in the middle of February...just in time for the movers. I am SO EXCITED. She was totally born with the organizing gene (I am convinced there is such a thing) and she has graciously agreed to drive from Portland down here to help me. Have I mentioned that I love her? haha!
My mom has offered to help me, but she works and has little spare time. Plus, the combo of the two of us would result in very little purging I think.
My sister has also offered to help, but I need someone to boss me around and with me and my sister I think we'd both just end up staring at a large pile. ;-)
So, my sister in law it is. Teresa, THANK YOU! If I haven't said it enough, THANK YOU! ;-)

Tonight Jake and I are MAYBE going on a date. Maybe. It all depends on what we can do on ZILCH. haha! I'm thinking just to hang out period would be nice but we'll see. My mom is taking the older kiddos to the new Veggie Tales movie so we'll be home with just Owen for a while, then she's taking all of them so he and I can have some time together. Need to take advantage of that as much as we can before we move, b/c who knows when that will happen again. I'm a little nervous about that aspect of things when we move to Minot. Really, can we make it with no babysitter so we can go out ALONE once in a while? Or are we going to have to improvise and do the date thing AT HOME after the kids go to bed? I'm sure we'll figure out's just uncharted waters right now.

OH! News..... I can't believe I forgot this before. Jake talked to the housing department at Minot and they said we qualify to be on the four bedroom housing list and it's a 0-30 day wait! YEAH! I'm very happy about that. My hope is that once we get to the base we will have a house to move into asap. Not sure if that is realistic of me at this point, but that guy sure gave me reason to hope!

What I said about the snow not sticking, I take that back. It's sticking. A lot.

Okay how about now???

I really really like this one. BUT it doesn't have the blogger toolbar thingy at the top and that is sort of frustrating.

uuuggghhh. I'll live with this a while and see. I really like the coffee cup.


Friday, January 25, 2008

What do you think???

I'm not sure if I like the new pad. I don't like the section for my blog part being so skinny and I'm not sure I love the font. ;-) I wonder if I can change that.......

I like the layout, I do. I think it will take some getting used to.

If you are reading this...let me know what you think.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Just thought I'd share......

Dylan and Aidan are playing with the cardboard tubing from a paper towel role and Dylan held it up to his eye and said "ARRR Matey!" and I said "buddy you crack me up!" and that reminded me of something.....
A few weeks ago he kept saying to us "You crack! You crack me!" and that was all. We couldn't figure out why he was saying that until one day I said "You crack me up!" and then I realized..... "YOU CRACK" is his "you crack me up" hahaha! So funny the way their little brains work.
Oh my gosh, right now they are playing "baseball" with the tubing and a squishy ball and Dylan is telling Aidan "throw it on the bat! ON THE BAT! You gotta throw it ON the bat!" hahahaha! Oh my gosh. I said "no bud, I think you are supposed to hit it with the bat" heehee
Okay that's all. I need to do this more often b/c I have a feeling once we get to Minot, the grandparents might start reading the blog to catch up on the kiddos. ;-)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it!

This was the top news story in the Minot Daily Newspaper. I'm just sayin.....

New pea unveiled at growers convention

A plant pathologist at the University of Montana is currently researching a pea hybrid with slow glucose release when eaten, but at the same time will stand and yield like standard field peas.

Lanita DID warn me that I could be forced to listen to the farm report in the mornings instead of music! hahaha!


Okay I am really bad at remembering what the boys say, and they say some pretty hilarious stuff. So, I'm taking a few minutes to think of a few....prompted by what Dylan just now said. LOL
He brought over a banana to me and said "Mommy, is this banana right?" I said "You mean RIPE?" and he said "yeah ripe. Is this banana right?" hahaha!
One night we had lasagna for dinner here about two weeks ago. He kept calling it "desagna" I don't know why he just did. He can say his L's pretty okay most of the time now, but for some reason lasagna starts with a "D" to him. He said "Hey MOMMY! Desagna starts with DOG!!" hahaha!
"Hey Mommy! (everything starts with HEY MOMMY) Fourty starts with FOUR!"
"Hey Mommy! Twenty starts with twenty!" Oh man that one made me roll. LOL
Or this one was HILARIOUS. "W starts with walrus!" hahahaha!!!
In school that is how they learn letters. Words that start with a certain letter they focus on for that day. So he is always saying that other words start with other words. So funny.
Like "Hey mommy! Aidan starts with Apple!"
"Dog starts with Dylan!"
Aidan likes to talk about monsters a lot. He likes to SHOOT monsters a lot. He comes up to me and WHISPERS that there are monsters and he is going to shoot them. Have you ever heard a two year old whisper? It is the funniest thing ever. It makes me laugh so hard! I love it.
One thing that DOESN'T make me laugh so hard.....when he is mad he says "shut your mouth!" Okay I MUST CLARIFY HERE: He did NOT learn that from us. 100% did not. Couldn't have. When Jake and I went to Lincoln City back in November the boys were shuffled around between my mom, grandma, and my sister....and when we came back, that was the first thing we heard him say. WONDERFUL. ;-) We are working on that. BUT, Jake and I secretly giggle at it sometimes. Bad I know.
Aidan is also the lover. He loves to hug and say "I wuv you mommy" I love how he says love. WUV.
He loves Owen too. He gets really close to his face and whispers "hey baby hey baby hey baby it's okay it's okay it's okay shhh shhh shhh" heehee Then he pats his head, kisses his cheek and said "I wuv you baby Oweeeeen"
Ahhhhh, I love to hear my kids talk....SOMETIMES.

Monday, January 21, 2008 least it feels like it.

I've been a bit down in the dumps the last few days. A bit mopey, a little sappy, kinda grumpy, VERY TIRED. A few of my nearest and dearest think it's because I've got a lot on my plate right now with the move and all, and that even though I've not really DONE anything the last several days, my mind has been racing and that can be tiring. Maybe. Maybe they are right.

I couldn't put my finger on why I had this "defeated" feeling. I am happy that we are moving, finally. I am happy with where we are going. I think this is going to be a good move for our little family. But I am feeling a little anxiety about it. About the transition. About not being around family. About settling down. I have been sitting around STARING at my house, watching the boys destroy it piece by piece. They are lucky I've mustered up the energy to feed and clothe them, nevermind cleaning the place up. I think they know I am weak and they have power over me right now. ;-) haha. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way. I should be happy. I should be bouncing off the walls. I should be grateful and thankful for everything that's happening in our life right now. But I just can't shake this feeling. Or the wondering why I feel like it. Until tonight. When I went to bed.

A few weeks ago I had decided to try to go along with the "FLYlady" method of housekeeping. I am so unorganized and get distracted so easily (evil evil computer) and I would rather spend the day playing with the boys or staring at Owen while he tries to master crawling. :D I had printed out the schedules and routines. I had been researching it online. I had even shined my kitchen sink. That is the first thing you are supposed to do. I read through my print outs at night before bed trying to commit it to memory and practice it the next day. I felt like I was making progress. Until this last thursday, when I knew our lives were changing....pronto. And that is when the "funk" settled in, and I couldn't figure out why. I still can't explain why I am so gosh awful tired these last few days, but tonight as I laid down to bed, I figured out why I have been in a mopey mood. I saw those papers laying on my night stand and instantly my heart sank. I knew that what I was feeling defeated. I had stopped doing what I set out to do to accomplish my goals. It wasn't setting right with me and it was affecting my days. I just didn't put the two together. Now that I know, I need to fix it. I hate responsibility. ;-)

Another bummer, to say the least..... my mom told me tonight that my grandma might have lung cancer. WONDERfreakingFULL. Last week they thought maybe her cancer had spread to her bones. They ran tests, nope, no bone cancer. Her lymphoma checked out to be okay, nothing bad there. BUt oh wait, there's a hot spot on her lung that "lit up like a christmas tree" that they want to biopsy. All signs point to NOT GOOD. So as I am laying in bed tonight realizing I have felt defeated these last few days, I started also thinking about my grandma. Maybe b/c I had just filled Jake in on it, but still, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Then I started crying. I was laying there crying thinking about how fast people go with lung cancer. Thinking about everyone I knew who had lung cancer and how quickly they died after getting lung cancer. I started getting sick at my stomach thinking about how we aren't going to be here and if she has lung cancer how much time does she have left and will I be able to come home "when and if." My mind was like a runaway train. I coudn't stop it. I hate when that happens.

THEN, yes it gets better, THEN I start thinking about how I have been treating my family and my home. Like nothing. I have sat around and sulked b/c I can't DO what I want to DO...which is develope a lifestyle routine around here I can live with and still have time to spend with the kids w/o worrying about what mess they are making. I tend to be a black and white person, and that along with my perfectionism (yes, messy people can be perfectionists.... it's a long story....really it is....there's a whole book about it) doesn't bode well for me. I don't like distractions, I can't focus well with distractions. ANYTHING can be a distraction for me too. The tv, the phone, the radio, THE COMPUTER, the kids, Jake, anything. I need complete silence and NO ONE around me for me to focus on what I want done. Does this mean I have ADHD?? ;-) haha. Seriously? Does it? ;-) Anyway, that doesn't bode well for me b/c I am a SAHM who should be able to cope with these things. I really should. It's kind of my job, and I think I would be fired by now in the real world. What was the point of me telling this part??? Oh yes....... now that I have finally settled on a method to control my madness, it all gets tossed. Yes it is what we were hoping/praying/waiting for, but the timing, THE TIMING....God you are a funny funny man I tell ya. ;-) It all gets tossed, thrown out the window, and instead of being able to focus on the routine I had layed out before me, I now have to do the opposite....ransack my house to get rid of stuff, focus on the details of moving, prepare prepare prepare....and I don't feel like I can right now. It is overwhelming. And that makes me feel guilty.

I know I should be so grateful and on my hands and knees thanking God for taking care of this moving situation, but I find myself feeling slightly annoyed at the timing. The timing just SUCKS. I think I feel that way mostly b/c I am TERRIFIED of driving 1500 miles in the winter, and I am TERRIFIED about my grandma....oh yeah....and my mom. She's kind of got her own CRAP going on as well that I am worried about. Divorces never turn out well and to be honest, I am worried about her and scared for her. ANd I want to be here for her, but I won't be. :( That breaks my heart. :( I don't want to just be a voice on the phone for her, I want to be a shoulder, a hug, a smile for her. :( Between my grandma and the divorce, I know she is hurting right now. And scared.
Anyway, back to the timing..... I know it is not my is God's timing. I KNOW THAT. I KNOW THAT. I KNOW THAT. I know that with everything in me but I also fight against it. What IS IT about us that makes us fight God even when we know He is right?? HUH? I wish someone would tell me.....b/c I hate it.
I need to trust God. I need to trust His timing. I need to trust that He will take care of my grandma. I need to trust that He will be the shoulder, the voice, the smile for my mom. I need to trust that He will get us to Minot and take care of us and provide for us while we are there. I do trust Him, I just don't trust me. Does that even make sense?? I don't know....all I know is, I think I have "broken." Kind of like when a fever "breaks" it's all better from there on out. The fever has broken, you start to feel better. You peak with sickness and a high fever and then BAM, it breaks and you are on the road to a better you. I hope that is what happened tonight as I was laying in bed crying with all of these thoughts and worries and feelings running through my head. Those aren't ALL of what has been bothering me, but they are the biggies. I think the next thing would be worrying about the boys and the move.....but that'll come later.

If you are reading this, please pray for me. Please pray for my grandma and my mom.

For some reason I am reminded of a poem this friend I had in high school wrote.
"I need a peace Lord help me now,
I need to let go, I don't know how.
Carry my pain, see me through,
Let it bring me closer to you."

AMEN. Now back to bed. ;-)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Minot North Dakota. Like it or not, here we go!

So a bit of news. Just a bit. ;-)
My stomach is cramping as I type this out. Not that I regret choosing Minot, just that I am nervous about the transition and.....the drive. Seriously.

Okay, let me back up. Thursday Jake called his commander and said:
J: so, how's it looking with my orders? Does it look like I'll be getting them next month or not?
C: let me call you back.
(calls back)
C: you can have your pick between ABQ New Mexico, or Minot North Dakota. Call your wife. Make a decision. Call me back. BTW, you only have a few minutes.

GREAT!!!! Seriously? A few minutes to make a life altering decision???? And whatever happened to just GETTING your orders? You don't get to pick! That's crazy! Nothing about this was the norm by any means. It was throwing us off big time! I said to Jake "why don't they just PICK a place and send us?" and he said "Do you really want them to pick?" Well no, I guess I didn't.

After much thought and consideration (as much as a few minutes would allow) we chose Minot. I know, I know.... pretty much EVERYONE thinks that was a bad choice, but believe me, we have GOOD reasons for choosing Minot. In the long run, it will be the best choice for our family. Jake and I are in total agreement on this. Now the part I DON'T like....we are moving in 44 days. 44 DAYS!!!! We will be driving through the northernmost states in the dead of winter....with all three kids....and me and my anxiety........ and paranoia. That is truly the only part of this whole thing that has me worried/bothered. I am a little stressed though about all the purging and organizing we will have to do before the movers come. That part makes me stomach turn and my heart race.I am NOT GOOD at organizing efficiently. I get overwhelmed with it. I shut down. That is what I did yesterday and the day before. COmpletely shut down and didn't do a THING. Not even the normal things I should have been doing for the sake of a picked up house. I just had too much clutter in my mind to focus. This makes me nervous for the next few weeks.

So anyway, that is what is going on around here. Praise the Lord the grandparents are a godsend today. My mom has offered to take the boys today for a few hours so we can focus on stuff here (b/c seriously, we have to start NOW) and Jake's mom has offered to take Dylan overnight for the first time ever! :D This should be exciting for him. I hope he does well, as he's never spent more than a couple of hours over there by himself, and that was before Aidan was it's been a while.

Off to pack up the turds, as we so lovingly call them, and drop them with my mom for a few hours. Think anyone'll notice if I go shopping instead? I think I need some retail therapy!! ;-)

Actually, if anyone knows a good organizer and purger, send 'em my way!

OH and if you're wondering WHY we chose Minot, I'll save that for another post.

Monday, January 14, 2008

So sad how easily I am amused....

Tonight I was feeding Owen his rice cereal. I've been feeding this to him for a few days now and he's not all that great at opening his mouth. He just smiles. That's it....smiles and I try to slide the food right in. This has been a bit frustrating. Not nearly as bad as when Dylan was a baby.....the fact that he didn't eat right away when we started foods sent me into a tearful fit. I just KNEW I'd have an anorexic baby. And truly, to this day, he is still my pickiest eater. Aidan, on the other hand, ate ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. There was nothing he wouldn't eat. So now there's Owen. He seems to like what I'm feeding him, he just won't open his mouth. A perfect blend of Dylan and Aidan. We should have named him Daidan. Ha! Now there's a name.

ANYWAY, (man I get sidetracked!) tonight Owen OPENED HIS MOUTH! I know. Ridiculously lame to get THISEXCITEDABOUTBUTIAM! I was clapping and laughing and saying "YEAH!!" over and over again. You would have thought the kid stood up and walked across the floor. I loved it. It sent such joy straight to my mommy heart. I couldn't have been prouder.

So funny........ I crack myself up.

Processing (I'm real original with titles huh?)

So I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately (what's new huh?) and I think I have to reprioritize my life. God had been whispering in my ear for a while about scaling back. I ignored it. Then He started tapping me on the shoulder. I shrugged that off as well. I found it annoying actually. Have you ever had someone tap or poke you over and over and over again? It becomes annoying and painful. And that is what it has become. Painful. "God! You are becoming a pain in my shoulder!" I would find myself thinking. I chose to live with the pain and not do anything about it.

Now He is messing with my gut and my heart and my emotions. He is relentless I tell you! Relentless! I've had a pit in my stomach for over a week now. I've had this nagging feeling in my heart and I want to cry whenever I think about all that He is wanting me to think about right now...... B/c sometimes I do think about it. Sometimes I cave in and say "Okay God, you've got me. I'll start processing through this stuff asap" and then when I start, I get all weepy and sick feeling. So, I retreat. Where do I retreat?? Here. My computer. The internet. Other blogs. I am an avid blog reader. I may not always leave comments, but I read blogs (almost) all day every day. My grandma and my mother-in-law think this is the strangest thing a person could waste, er spend, their time doing. I compare it to people watching. I could sit and watch people for HOURS. I love it. Put me in the food court at the mall with something yummy to sip on (eating would be better actually!), and I'm golden. I would also prefer to wear sunglasses so no one would know I am STARING, but that would just look odd in the mall.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, retreating.

This worked for some time, until God started leading me to blogs that addressed this very issue!! What is WITH Him??? Seriously?! Can't a girl just run away w/o someone looking for her?? So, my new escape plan was turning out to be a problem. Topics that God had been trying to get me to think about for some time kept popping up in these blogs, it was very tricky now that I look back on it. What better way to get my attention. There was no way I WASN'T going to read, so LITERALLY all of a sudden I could see God everywhere. More specifically I could see what He had been trying to get me to see for all these weeks, you see? Have I lost anyone yet? ;-) It made me think. HARD. It made me cry. It, again, made me sick at my stomach.

I don't like change. I don't like admitting I've been wrong. I don't like admitting I am currently doing something wrong. I don't like relenting. I like being right. I like thinking that I am making the best choices possible. I like to be the one to point out errors, not be the one pointed at. This is all very embarrassing for me to admit, but in an attempt to be real and honest....there it all is. I say THAT b/c all of these blogs I have been reading have been very real and honest and in that they caused me to think. So for that I am grateful, and can now only ask the same of myself.

Some things I have sensed God calling me to do:

Pray. To pray for anyone and everyone I know, no matter what it is. You see, I tend to make a judgement for myself as to whether something really NEEDS prayer. Stupid and selfish. EVERYTHING needs prayer! HELLO!!!! Selfish b/c I think my motivation behind that is thinking "like I don't have enough to do already, I have to add one more thing to my list!" What's funny to me is that I have known this for weeks, possibly even months, that God was calling me to a serious life of prayer. Of course, I ignored it, and just here recently, He has CLEARLY brought about people for me to pray for. Before, I could just sense it on my heart to do it. I would do it with an "alright FINE" attitude. But recently, He has been ever so CLEAR. People have actually come to me and specifically ASKED. In order to come to me and ask me for prayer is not so easy. You have to specifically find me. I'm not some person you'll see around town, or walking down the street or even talk to on the phone all that often (unless you live in Wisconsin or Las Vegas! ha!). So the fact that I had people specifically asking was God saying to me, "I will get you. I will find you. I won't give up on you." So last night when my dear friend (who shall remain nameless at her request) asked me to pray for something in particular and said she only thought to ask me, I knew it was God speaking. I knew it. So, I relent. In fact, I was moved to NEAR know, when you get all choked up and think that if you don't hold your breath you may start bawling. That.

Live a better life. Now I know that encompasses A LOT. For me though, it's been very specific. Certain areas that are specific only to me and my life, I have felt God saying "this is not right. This needs to change. This needs to be better. YOU can be better." It would do me no good to clarify here, b/c quite honestly it would be too difficult. Mostly, it's just the way I live my life and the things I think.....that only God knows I think. It's funny..... having only God know what you really think. B/c you tend to keep things to yourself that you don't want to be called on. Things you don't want to be held accountable for. The funny part is that the only person it matters to is God and He is the only person who could possibly know even the things you are hiding. Now I understand if that last sentence was jumbled for some, it was for me too when I reread it. But I still know what I meant. ;-) Basically, my point is, you get "found out" anyway. God will take of you. And I don't mean "take of you" like make sure you have food and clothing and are healthy and all that jazz. I mean He will take care of your SINFUL nature. Like when the boys get in trouble I say "I'll take of you" and I march them back to their room for a stern disciplinary action (and no I'm not talking a spanking, although I am a firm believer in that). God has been "taking care of me" on a very personal level lately. *OUCH* It hurts me ego more than anything, which in the end is a good thing. ;-)

Be a better example. This sort of goes with the previous topic. Once I start living a better life, my example will just naturally follow. So this one is sort of a double whammy.

DO LESS. I think I blogged about this before. I have not been so good at meeting that goal. #$&$&^% RESOLUTIONS!!!! God keeps pressing on my heart to turn OFF the tv, to CLOSE my laptop, to UNPLUG my phone. Seriously. Unplug it. I have been ignoring Him obviously. And it is causing more pain than pleasure. Funny thing about ignoring God, it hurts. I can't tell you how many times I have seen in blogs that someone has taken a "blogging break" or fasted from something that was taking up too much time and energy and thought. It really got me thinking. Thinking, not doing. Yet. I think this one is the hardest of all of them actually.

Something else that has really come up a lot.....The Proverbs 31 woman. Ya know, I kind of have a love/hate feeling about her. While I really want to BE her, I don't feel like that is attainable for me. That is where the hate part comes in. *I use hate lightly* My honest to goodness true hearts desire is to strive to be that Woman, and I think *KNOW* that God knows that. I think that is where all these other things come into play. I can't attain Proverbs 31 with all these distractions and "less than" habits. Now that is JUST ME. That's not the case for everyone. Just me. And God knows me. I think that is where all His tweaking is coming from. ;-) "Be patient, God's not finished with me yet" I think this saying is fitting. ;-)

That's about all I want to delve into right now. "WHAT?! THERE'S MORE?!?" Yes, I am sorry so to say, there is more. I'll save it though. This is enough for now. Going to go chew my cud now.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Death to Stuart Little!!

We have a mouse. A mouse in our house. In our house we have a mouse.
Apparently I've been reading too much of Mother Goose Rhymes. The rhyming is rubbing off. ;-)

Actually we have had a mouse for a while, it lived IN the walls up in the corner of the living room. It's little scrapings sounded like a bird in the gutter. So, for a long time I thought it was a bird in the gutter. One night I said to Jake "listen, there's a bird in the gutter!" and Jake said "NO, that's a mouse in the walls." How nice that he has known this for some time and didn't see the need to mention it. The next night, I noticed some blue plastic pieces coming out of a cabinet onto the stove. We open the cabinet door. There sits my BLUE bag of coconut shavings from the truffles I made at Christmas. Jake takes it out of the cabinet. HUGE hole in the bottom!!!! He takes out my bag of brown sugar.....Hole in the bottom. My bag of powdered sugar..... Hole in the bottom. My bag of granulated sugar...... You guessed it.....hole in the bottom! However, my huge bag of flour sat untouched by the sugar high mouse.

Can you just imagine this mouse?! After all that sugar can you imagine what he must look like? Like a mouse on crack I am sure. I would love to see the damage he has done to the insides of my walls on that sugar high!

So, Jake sets a trap that night. He is so excited about catching this mouse. He is talking the "The Godfather" while he is setting up this trap. He is entirely too amused by this, and entirely too excited to trap a mouse. A day goes by, the mouse outsmarted Jake twice and nibbled the PB just around the edges of the trap. Another day goes by, Jake was outsmarted by Stuart Little again. Yes, I call him Stuart Little. Finally, in the wee morning hours of the next day, 2:30 am to be exact, I am up nursing Owen and I fall asleep. I wake up to this LOUD WHACK and I jump. It's him. It's the mouse. It's Stuart Little. I jump up, Owen still attached (literally) to me and I walk as fast as I can down the hall. When I walk past the kitchen I can HEAR him in there flopping around in the cabinet. He isn't dead. HE ISN'T DEAD. GROSS. The trap keeps hitting the cabinet doors and I am afraid he will fall out.....not afraid for him, afraid for ME who would have to SEE him. EW. So, I wake up Jake. Jake is NOT happy. "It's 2:30 in the freaking morning! Are you kidding me? I don't want to deal with this now!" He is not mad at me. He is mad at the mouse for deciding to get caught at such an ungodly hour. He checks on the mouse. He comes back to bed. He says "The mouse is not dead, it just caught him by his leg, he's just laying there." EW EW EW EW. I lay awake for a long time after that thinking of the mouse, afraid he will get lose and then die in the walls somewhere and stink up my house.

The next morning at breakfast the boys and I are at the table eating our yummy whole wheat pancakes and Jake decides to check on the mouse. He is now dead. I say he had a heart attack. Dylan of course wants to see the mouse. At first I thought "why not?" and then at second thought decided it would probably NOT be a good idea. He still wants to see it. Jake thinks it will be okay. So, I give in. I don't DARE look. I will pass out, I know it. Just the knowledge that there is a mouse behind me is almost too much to deal with. I watch Dylan instead. His eyes get H.U.G.E. HUGE! All he says is "ooooooooooh." It was hilarious! I laugh to do the impression b/c it is so funny. The look on his face was priceless. I think he regretted looking.

YEAH! We got our culprit. End of story. Right?


Last night I was laying in bed w/Dylan b/c when I was checking on them he said "mommy will you lay down with me for a few minutes?" How do you say no to that? While I was laying there, I heard......scratching. And there are no gutters on the outside of Dylans wall halfway down. ANOTHER MOUSE. Good grief.

Here we go again.........