Yeah, that's me.

Monday, February 18, 2008


Okay, after doing a little shopping around, I do believe I've found a new home. I figure a cross country move and blog move would be good to happen around the same time. I don't like changes spread out, so let's group it all together now! haha!! ;-) Totally kidding and that was a lame joke. But anyway.....

Seriously though, I've moved. Blogspot has been good to me, but I like the pad over at at Wordpress. I'll keep this up though, just in case anyone is lost. heehee ;-)

Here is the address:

Refer to that from now on. Thanks!! Love you! Hope you follow! ;-)

p.s. If you have me on your blogroll, would you be so kind as to change it for me? Thanks love!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Opinion Wanted

Check me out HERE and see if you like it better. I'm still not sure. The verdict is still out. So let me know what the jury decides. ;-) DON'T FORGET MOUTHWATERING MONDAY BELOW EITHER!

Mouth Watering Monday (and a sweet potato allergy update)

So I am getting a jump on my mouth watering Monday here, but we just had this for dinner tonight and it was YUMMMM-AY. Plus I really don’t want to be on tomorrow very much.
My mother in law gave me a recipe several years ago for her chili. She made it when she came to visit us in Missouri and I later called her and asked for the recipe. I was slightly frustrated b/c her “recipe” was in her head and she tweaked it every time she made it. For a new “cook” like me, that was hard to do. But over the years I have learned to tweak it myself and I no longer use a referrence for it. It’s so simple and easy, and tweaking it to fit your cooking mood is fun! Enjoy!

1-2lbs of hamburger

packet of taco seasoning

two cans of petite diced tomatoes (sometimes I use the cans with onions and peppers in them)

one can of black beans

one can of kidney beans

one can of a white bean (garbanzo, navy, great northern…take your pic)

*sometimes I put in a can of corn or green chilies too, depends on my mood

two small cans of tomato sauce

one small diced onion

one tablespoon chopped garlic (or garlic seasoning, but real is better)

Seasonings: cumin, paprika, onion (if you don’t use real), garlic (if you don’t use real), cayenne pepper. Just season to taste. Jake likes spicy and so do I so if it’s just us I use a lot of cayenne. For parties I make two crocks, one mild, one hot.

In a skillet brown the hamburger meat, onions, and garlic. When thoroughly cooked, add in taco seasoning DRY (do not add water). Mix around and once fully cooked, add meat to crock pot. Add in beans and tomatoes and tomato sauce. If you want thicker chili, use tomato paste instead of sauce. Cook in crockpot on high for 3-4 hours. If you want it to simmer all day, just put it on low. Makes the house yummy smelly too!

To eat with dinner I either make cornbread or quesadillas. I know, totally opposite side dishes. With the cornbread I put the cornbread in a bowl and pour chili over it. With the quesadillas I put the chili in a bowl, top with sour cream and cheese, and dip quesadilla triangles in it. Soooo gooooooood.

Ya gotta try this dinner! It’s so yummy! And if you have more hamburger meat than you need for the chili, since it is already seasoned, you can save it for tacos another night. Let me know if you try it!


So I said I would update about finding out about Owen’s allergy to sweet potatoes. Now mind you, a doctor didn’t tell me this. In fact, they weren’t too interested in the fact that I had JUST fed him sweet potatoes an hour before his episode. I googled “infant allergy to sweet potatoes” and came up with a lot of the same scenarios. Check them out for yourself. From now on, I am going to play it safe and NOT give Owen any sweet potatoes. Poor kid, won’t ever know of the yummy goodness of sweet potato pie! Here are the sites:

Click Here (scroll down a bit on this one)

and here

and here too

and don’t forget this one (more for allergy resource)

Okay that’s enough for now. If you google other combinations of “sweet potatoes, allergy, vomitting, infant” stuff like that, you get more sites. One site I found (I’ll have to find it again) showed a controlled study in a small group of infants that had a sweet potato allergy. So, I think we’ll go with “sweet potato allergy” just to be safe.

Now go make some chili!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Personal DNA

I'm an Attentive Curator.

Check out the results of my personality here. Some parts are earily right on.

God Laughs

My sister in law has this saying, "make plans and hear God laugh" and she is soooo right.

Kim emailed everyone from our link group asking for volunteers to host this weekend. I volunteered.

My sister in law is coming this tuesday to help me with stuff for moving. She is an organizational freak and I am lucky she is so willing to help me, considering she lives in Portland.

This morning, the boys woke up with green goo. GREEN GOO. Their noses look like they had green play doh shoved up there. Totally gross. Oh, and Owen is coughing a bit. Oh, AND he threw up last night. Projectile vomit across the couch. For about an hour or so afterwards I was in a complete panic waiting for "the other shoe to drop." It never did, thank God. Owen remained bubbly and happy and NOT passed out. ;-)

God is laughing at my plans I think. I had to cancel on link group :( and I emailed my sister in law telling her about the boys. If they are sick she can't come b/c she has a 3yo and my brother in law is self employed so he REALLY can't get sick.

I am really really hoping and praying they are not sick come Monday night/Tuesday morning.

I'm frustrated today.

I had a dream about moving last night. We moved into the most narrow house ever. It was a nice house, but it was narrow. Weird. Oh, and we made the drive in two days. That was sweet.

God, please don't laugh at our plans to move. ;-)

Oh and something really great: Owen is crawling. The kid is on the move!! It's amazing how fast they pick this stuff up. He is better today than he was yesterday. Every day he gets better and better. I love it.

I love my kids. I love watching them be creative. For Valentines I got them play doh sets. A play doh duffel bag of play doh stuff with cutters, and a pasta maker, and a roller. They each got one. And they each got a play doh tub. One tub is for picnic stuff and the other is for animals. They have played with those for HOURS. They love it. Especially Dylan. :D I thought I would not like them having play doh but they seem to be doing pretty well with it.

Today we are going to go through more stuff to take to the dump. I wish I could snap my fingers and have this done. I am seriosly contemplating moving into our trailer NOW and just coming to the house to do stuff for the move. That way what I get done stays done. I don't know. That seems extreme. But it also would simplify things for me. If my sister in law (she does have a name btw, it's Teresa haha) comes I think we'll do that after she leaves actually. That is what we were going to do after the movers take all of our stuff anyway.

Okay, off to do something productive. I promised Sean I'd blog about the sweet potato allergy thing, so I will for sure be back this weekend with that. ;-) Check Sean out. He has a baby on the way. :D

Friday, February 15, 2008

Funny Ha Ha Friday

I forgot to add the funnies to my previous post about getting busted. ;-)

Here are a few funnies from the last week with the kids:

McKenna was running to the boys' room and she said "Lets go Dylan! You're tagging me!" and squeeled and ran off. hahaha!!! Kind of like a few weeks ago when she was running/hopping and I said "McKenna I said no running" and she said "I'm not, I'm hopping hip" (skipping) heehee Oh the things kids say. ;-)

I was putting the kiddos down for a nap and Aidan lost his paci one day. This is what happens....he has it and tries to hide from me (b/c he's not supposed to have it) and then he loses it somewhere in the house. Normally I take it from them and put them up, but this morning he left it in his bed like he's supposed to so I didn't think about it again. Anyway, I'm looking for this paci and getting IRRITATED b/c he can't sleep without it and I can't find it. I said "This is so stupid!" while I was looking through toys and stuffed animals. Then, from his crib, he says, "mommy, we don't say soopid. Soopid is a mean." hahaha!! I love when they correct me.Honest. I do. It means they know it. ;-)

Today the boys were taking their bikes to the backyard from the garage and Aidan was pushing his bike and said "I have BIIIIIIIG muscles!"

Earlier this week I caught Dylan and McKenna playing "baby." She was trying to nurse him. That was a fun game to walk in on! I had to explain how only mommies and babies do that sort of thing. ;-) haha!!

Also this week, Aidan found "cat poop" under the kitchen table one morning. We don't have a cat. Upon further examination I realized HE had pooped under the table. The night before. After bath. When we let them run naked for a few minutes. How this went unnoticed you ask? It was late, the lights were off, and we had already had dinner with no reason to go back to the table. I can't believe I didn't notice it. I did however SMELL it that night, but thought they just were tooting. Next time I think I'll follow my nose. ;-)

Dylan to McKenna: "Do you know what gooerish means? It means when I don't like something"

Dylan: "Mommy! Aidan says HE is Uncle Nate and he's not!"
Me: "Well it's okay if he wants to pretend to be Uncle Nate"
Dylan: "But IIIIIIIIIIIII want to be Uncle Nate!!"
Me: "You can be Uncle Nate too"
Dylan: "NO! I want Aidan to be Aunt Teresa!"
He was literally in tears over this. Hysterically crying. haha!


Brent busted me!

Okay so I said I wouldn't be getting on here for a few days, and while I did really good the first day, the second day not so much. I did refrain from posting and commenting though. Now that is quite the accomplishment on my part. haha!

Even though I didn't completely stay away, I did minimize my time drastically. And what a difference it made! It was a good lesson for me in priorities, boundaries, and everything in MODERATION. Too much of anything IS a bad thing.

In my profile when I say I tend to get sucked into the computer once I turn it on....yeah, I wasn't kidding. Even though I am reading some amazing stuff and having some great conversations, or enjoying a friendly debate here and there, too much is too much. And when your kid tells you he feels gooerish about you being on the computer....well, that'll snap you to attention if nothing else.

I did accomplish a lot these last few days, and the best part, I was able to hear God without all the "noise" in my head. God knows my heart, and he knows what I am struggling with, but when I am so immersed in what I am doing elsewhere, I can't hear him. What I miss when I am not paying attention! All this time (last couple of months) I've felt like a failure at being a good mom, wife, homemaker. Brent reminded me that I am a perfectionist. Yes, yes I am. *Hi I'm Brandy and I am a perfectionist* meaning that I have this IDEA in my mind of how I want things to be, and I can NEVER reach it. EVER. And I know it. So instead of just trying to be good at stuff, I don't even try b/c I know I won't reach my level of perfection.....the unrealistic one I have in my head. Just being good is not good enough. It has to be perfect. And if it's not, why bother? See my problem? I have a feeling this is going to be a life long battle for me. Like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic. A perfectionist is always a perfectionist. Every day is a battle to "stay on the wagon" so to say, for lack of a better example at the moment.

I have always been a fan of the sayings "go big or go home" and "if you're going to do a half a$$ job, don't do it at all" and "there is right way and a wrong way and your way is not right" (haha). That last one is a testament to the fact that I can't accept help either. I am bad at that. And only I can fix that.

The other thing I have enjoyed these last two days: my kids. Oh the fun we've had! And that's always worth it.

So here is my attempt at adding a little imperfect "grey" into my life. Finding a middle ground. Setting some boundaries. Being imperfect. ;-)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Talk To Me Tuesday

Okay so my question today is, what do you do when you find yourself so overwhelmed with life to the point where you are not coping well?? How do you get back on track? How do you realign yourself??

I am so off track I just yelled at my son b/c he couldn't figure out his v-smile game. Not my proudest moment. At all.

So to realign myself, with my kids, with my husband, with my house, with my God, I am getting rid of distractions. For a while. And this, this has been a distraction. One I enjoy very much. Very much.

So I am off for a while to clean, to spend time with my kiddos, to spend time with God, to spend time with myself, to spend time paying attention to Jake. BUT, when I come back I want lots of advice on other ways to get back on track. Lots of advice. Preferably advice that would keep me from reaching this point of feeling overwhelmed. My sister in law says I am a black and white person. This is true. Very true. I need some shades of grey. ;-)

I'll be back, in a few days or so. And I won't be lurking (aww that was just painful to say).

Looooooooove yoooooouuuus!


Obviously I'm having blog issues. I'm not very happy about this. :(

My links will all be back up soon and I'll have a decent layout back up too.

I'm irritated. At myself. Grrrrr.

Monday, February 11, 2008

My Favorite Things

Beaming boy smiles and little baby kisses
Long brown eyelashes and magical wishes
Pulling around all their cars with a string
These are a few of my favorite things

Warm cups of hot chocolate and marshmallow minis
Special treats and good eats and magical pennies
Watching them run and gleefully sing
These are a few of my favorite things

Boys in blue jeans with dirt on their knees
Hearing "I love you" and "thanks" and "please"
Kissing their boo boos after a ding
These are a few of my favorite things

When my head hurts
When the dinner burns
When I'm feeling mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Mouthwatering Monday

<--- This is Aidan. Cute isn't he? ;-) He loves his coffee first thing in the morning, just like mom. And by coffee I mean Hot Chocolate in one of my coffee cups. We started doing this b/c he would really drink my coffee when I wasn't looking. I'd leave my coffee unattended for a few moments, to go do some other "mom" thing, and when I came back I'd have nothing left. Same thing happens to Jake's soda at night. Jake is a HUGE soda drinker. HUGE. He'll leave a 44 oz fountain drink out from the store down the road and come back to almost nothing. Just two nights ago I found Aidan sucking one down and took it to Jake and said "how much was left in here" and he took it and said "OH MY GOSH! It was at least half full!" and now it was empty. Aidan sucked it dry. And it's not like I don't give this kid something to drink all day either. I guess he just wants to be like mom and dad. You can't beat that. We'll take it while we can get it! And, just like mom and dad, he doesn't like to be messed with while he's enjoying his drink! haha!!

<--- Now this is a much nicer looking view of my boy. How cute he is! He is my lover and my snuggler. And he's at that stage where his talking is too cute.

"I wuv you mommeeeeee"

"I shump a biiiig one" (I jump a big one)

"das ma toyee over dare" (that's my toy over there)

"beebee Oweeeeen ish shup" (baby Owen is up)

"I wuv puppy rooooooniiiiii's" (I love pepperoni's-- last night at dinner)

"awww buuuuddy" That one he says all the time to everyone. We love it.

Okay that's enough bragging. Here's my Mouthwatering Monday recipe:

I got this recipe in one of my presents for my bridal shower. Jake and I LOVE it and it is soooo yummy. Don't pay any attention to the fact that it is probably not the healthiest thing you could eat, that would ruin the creamy goodness of it!

Jack Cheese Enchiladas

1dz corn tortillas

1/2 cup cooking oil

3/4 cup chopped green onions (I use more, I like them)

1/4 cup butter

2 cups Jack Cheese (again, I use however much I want)

1/4 cup flour

2cups chx broth

1 cup sour cream (me looooovs sour cream!)

1 small can chopped green chilies (sometimes I use two)

Directions: In skillet, cook tortillas in hot oil for 14 seconds (7 seconds each side). Place 2T cheese and 1T onion on each tortilla. Roll up and place seam side down in pan.

Sauce: In a saucepan, melt butter; blend in flour and chx broth. Cook stirring constantly until mixture thickens and bubbles. Remove from heat. Stir in sour cream and green chilies. Cook until heated through. DO NOT BOIL.

Pour over rolled tortillas. Bake at 375* for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and return to oven until cheese melts.

It is oooooooooh sooooooo goooooood! It goes great with rice and beans! :D Topping it with olives is yummy too! If you try it let me know how it turned out. :D

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My sneaky sneaky husband!

<---- See that? THAT was my early Valentines present tonight, along with matching earrings. A few days ago Jake asked if we were going to go out for Valentines Day and I said NO b/c for one, Teresa and Kambrie would probably (hopefully) be here and for two, we NEVER go out for Valentines Day. We don't even celebrate it really. It's more of an annoying "dating" holiday I think. So for some reason he is really pressing going out for V Day which is odd, so we agree to go AFTER the actual day, either the 15th or 16th. Better that way anyway, avoid the crowds. I hate crowds. So tonight the boys went to my moms to stay the night. We didn't take them over there until about 8 b/c they took such LATE naps today. I normally wouldn't have put them down so late (3:30) but we had planned on going to church tonight and I didn't want them to be pills. Well, 5pm came around and they were STILL sleeping and I didn't have the heart to wake them. So, we didn't, and missed church. (sorry Deb! If you went)We can go in the morning. I am glad I didn't wake them b/c Dylan slept until almost 6 and Aidan slept until almost 7!! Normally I do NOT like them to sleep that late, but they played hard today and hadn't had a nap in two days. They needed it. So anyway, after we took them to moms around 8 I got in the shower b/c Jake insisted that we go out to eat since we were minus two boys. We kept Owen home with us. So, we go to Red Robin. Where the heck else would we go. I swear we should buy stock in that place! While we were sitting there, out of NOWHERE, Jake pulls this jewelry box from JCPenney out and and plops it down on the table and says "so, uh, I got a little somethin' here" and he kind of says it under his breath. He cracks me up. heehee I just BEAM and stare at it. I got all excited and asked what it was for and he says....VALENTINE'S DAY! hahaha! I said "It's not for another week" and he said "yeah but I wanted to give it to you ON that day, not after, so I'm giving it to you now" and I said "but it's still not ON that day" and he said "I'd rather give it to you earlier than later" hahaha! He is so funny! So, there it is. My pretty pretty necklace and matching earrings. LUCKILY I hadn't worn anything tonight. I just wore jeans and a long sleeve fitted black top so I was pretty bare and boring, but the necklace and earrings were the perfect touch! Thank you babe! I love them! :D oh yeah, and I love you too. ;-) heehee

<---- And this picture right here, that is how I ended my night. Isn't he cute????? This would be Owen, who you all prayed for. Such a beautiful and healthy boy!!! By the way, his problem, he's allergic to sweet potatoes. More on that later. ;-)

Have a great Sunday! :D

Friday, February 8, 2008

Funny Ha Ha Friday

So as I lurk through blogland (or blogosphere, whatever) I notice that a lot of people do a "wordless wednesday" or a "thankful thursday" or like my friend Tam at InProgress does, a "Fill In Friday" (which is really fun!) and I really like that they do this. Kind of simplifies things for when you can't think of something to blog about, or for when you are thinking of too much to blog about, which happens to be the case for me most of the time. I have been told more than once that some of my blog posts are little novelas. ;-) So today I was thinking about my blog and I thought I wanted to revamp a few things, and having a point to each day kind of strikes my fancy. ;-) Yes I said "strikes my fancy" just like I also say "draw the boys a bath" to Jake, to which he says "seriously? did you seriously just say DRAW them a bath?" Yes. Yes I did.

Anyway, I came up with a Monday through Friday theme and I have to say I am kind of excited about it. Plus, I think in the next few weeks (2 months about) when our lives will SO extremely chaotic with moving and everything that entails, it will be good to still post a blog w/o thinking much about it. I'll save the weekends for my outpours. Jake is home then and that will give me quiet time. :D

So this is what I came up with:

Mouthwatering Monday: For all of my easy family recipes that we love. They are so great I am always passing them on to friends. In fact several of my cookbooks are loaned out right now. I must get those back. ;-)

Talk To Me Tuesday: I'll post a question that has been on my mind that I wonder what everyone else thinks about. I often wonder what others think about things, or if others think about the same things. Tuesday though could also be Top Ten Tuesday, just depends on my mood. I haven't decided yet. haha! ;-)

Wordless Wednesday: I like the idea of this one and enjoy looking at others' wordless wednesdays. :D I see it all over blogland.

Thankful Thursday: This one really blesses me to read on other blogs. It reminds me to be thankful for the little things, not just the big things. One that I read said "tiny hands patting my cheek" and I instantly felt all warm and fuzzy thinking of when Owen pats my cheek or when Dylan rubs my arm or when Aidan runs his fingers through my hair. Lots to be thankful for! :D

Funny Ha Ha Friday: The boys are CONSTANTLY saying funny stuff. I am sure that I can find something to add every friday here. ;-)

So to start it off today Dylan said the most hilarious thing to me. I couldn't stop laughing. I was talking to him about moving to North Dakota, b/c he seems very nervous about it. He is always asking to see pics of where we are going and lately he has been very clingy and even climbing into our bed several times at night, just since we found out. He even asked once if we were going to leave him behind! :( This is how our conversation went today:

M: Dylan how do you feel about us moving to North Dakota? (after we had talked about it a bit)

D: I don't like it.

M: you don't?

D: No, I don't.

M: Why not? Does it made you sad?

D: It makes me feel gooerish.

M: Gooberish?

D: no, gooerish

M: GOOerish??

D: yeah, gooerish, not gooberish. (B/c there is clearly a difference)

M: Oh. Well what does gooerish mean?

D: Gooerish is when I don't like something.

M: Oh, so you feel gooerish about moving? You don't like it?

D: yeah, it's gooerish.

Okay then. ;-) hahahahaha! I love my kids! heehee

Thursday, February 7, 2008

"I would like to thank the academy!"

I've always wanted to say that! haha!

My heart is blessed tonight by Mandy at MandyMom!! She has been so kind as to award me with the E for Excellent Blog award. WOW! Thank you so much Mandy! I absolutely love her blog and even though I only found it about two weeks ago, it has become one of my favorites. One that I look forward to reading when I log on. Please go check her out! She has a beautiful heart for God and she is an unschooling homeschooler, one I feel I have been learning a lot from.
To share the love, I'd like to pass this award on to Kassidi and Dakota.... otherwise known as InCahoots! They were my flower girl and ring bearer at our wedding and I have known them since Kass was 3 and Kota was about 6 months. Correct me if I'm wrong Brent and Tam! :D Kass and Kota just started up their own blog and I love checking it out. It's so cool to see how much they have grown up, although it does make me feel like a very old 26 year old. ;-) haha!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I think I should clarify....

....that blog before about vasovegal, I think I got carried away explaining that and just forgot to ALSO mention, that the other "cause" they are thinking of was just pure dehydration, which is also a trigger. They aren't saying yeah or neigh on the vasovegal. So at this point, we just don't know, but are so thankful he is okay now.
Just thought I'd clarify!

Vaso WHAT??

Okay so we went to the Dr's this morning and they really had no more answers for me at all. Dr. Hough was just stumped as to what it could have been. He was very happy that Owen was laughing and "talking" and seemed much more his normal self. Basically, we left with "well at least he's fine now" kind of summation about the whole thing. I asked Dr. Hough about what his wife had told me yesterday (also a dr, obviously) about the vasovagel syncope and he said that is the only thing that comes to his mind as well. I have now had three pediatricians tell me that. So, I guess that is what we are going with, which really still doesn't answer the question as to why he was vomiting. Here is a description of vasovagel syncope:

Vasovagal syncope is the most common type of fainting. There are a number of different syncope syndromes which all fall under the umbrella of vasovagal syncope. The common element among these conditions is the central mechanism leading to loss of consciousness. The differences among them are in the factors which trigger this mechanism.

Typical triggers for vasovagal syncope include:[1]
prolonged standing or upright sitting
any painful or unpleasant stimuli, such as
giving a
blood donation or watching someone give one
watching someone experience pain
hyperthermia, a prolonged exposure to heat
sudden onset of extreme emotions
nausea or vomiting
urination ('micturition syncope') or defecation ('defecation syncope')
swallowing ('swallowing syncope')
coughing ('cough syncope')
abdominal straining or 'bearing down' (as in defecation)
random onsets due to nerve malfunctions
Pressing upon certain places on the throat, sinuses, and eyes.
High altitude

People with vasovagal syncope typically have recurrent episodes, usually when exposed to a specific trigger. The initial episode often occurs when the person is a teenager, then recurs in clusters throughout his or her life. Prior to losing consciousness, the individual frequently experiences a prodrome of symptoms such as lightheadedness, nausea, sweating, ringing in the ears, and visual disturbances. These last for at least a few seconds before consciousness is lost, which typically happens when the person is sitting up or standing. When they pass out, they fall down; and when in this position, effective blood flow to the brain is immediately restored, allowing the person to wake up.
autonomic nervous system's physiologic state (see below) leading to loss of consciousness may persist for several minutes, so:
if the person tries to sit or stand when they wake up, they may pass out again; and
the person may be nauseated, pale, and sweaty for several minutes after they wake up.

Vasovagal syncope is rarely life-threatening in itself.

So I guess that does answer the passing out/unconscience part of the whole ordeal, although he was "out" for nearly 30 minutes. As far as the vomiting, who knows, but I'll surely never feed him sweet potatoes again! ;-)

Good things that came out of this:
Prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. Between our families, my myspace friends, and my blogspot blog, there was lots of prayer being lifted up for little Owen.
Faith. I had faith that God would take care of my baby and even though I knew that ultimately God could do whatever He wanted, whatever His will was for Owen, I had a peace that He would answer my prayers for a fully recovered and healthy baby....and HE HAS! It makes me choked up right now thinking about how awesome God is and how He gave me such peace.
Friends. I have awesome friends, and people I don't even "know" in "real" life were rallying with prayer. Thank you so much!
Blogs are awesome too! haha! :D
Not that I didn't already know it before, but it just really resonated in me how much I love my kids and how really, in an instant, you would trade places with them for anything. ANYTHING.

Off to lay down with my sleeping baby.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Back from the hospital with Owen!

Okay so we're back and just a quick update.....Still not sure what was wrong with Owen. His rotavirus test came back negative and that was kind of the only strand the doctors were grasping. We go in tomorrow to see his regular doctor and we'll go from there.

Tonight he is in good spirits and smiling and laughing and playing, THANK GOD. I am so thankful that he is okay but still wish we knew what it was that left my baby unconscious for nearly 30 minutes. Until we know more, I'll still be worried about it happening again. Until then, the kid isn't leaving my side! haha! ;-) He is still very sleepy and has slept a lot, poor guy has been through the ringer in the last 24 hours. :( I'll get to all of the emails tomorrow after I talk more with the doctor.

Thank you so much for your concern and prayers. I was absolutely overwhelmed at the messages I received. Thank you all so very much. Now stop making me cry! ;-) Thanks to Brent and Tammy who instantly made their way down to the hospital to talk and pray with me and Owen. That was so unexpected and thoughtful! And to Cheryl who BARELY caught us as we were loading up to go! Thanks Cheryl for taking the time! ;-) And thanks to Tara who came and kept me company the rest of the night and brought us home from the hospital so Jake didn't have to load up the boys!


Night at the ER with my baby

Just a quickie here....

Owen started throwing up last night (my exact timing is fuzzy) and then he became completely limp and unresponsive, his eyes were rolling around in his head and he could not make eye contact at all. Jake and my mom were both shaking him(more like jossling) and smacking his cheeks and all out shouting to wake him up. Meanwhile I was on the phone with 911, ambulance on the way.

Paramedics checked him out, couldn't get him to respond either, wanted to take him in.As I stood there watching them with Owen, I swear to you my baby looked dead. NO COLOR, NO RESPONSE, NO NOTHING AT ALL. You have no idea what you will think of in times like that, and all I could think of was "Did I take enough pictures of him b/c if he goes, I don't want to forget what he looks like. That is all I could think of as I stared at what looked like a dead baby. Even my mom said the same thing. The only one of us who didn't think that was Jake and that is b/c he got to hold Owen and feel the teeny tiny breaths he was taking. :( I was shaking and crying and just thinking "How did this happen? He was FINE ABSOLUTELY FINE 30 minutes ago"
Jake and I rode in ambulance with him to RVMC. Owen responded a little on the ride there, opened his eyes. My mom stayed home with the other two.

God and I had a serious talk on the way to the hospital and my nerves calmed as I KNEW He would take care of my baby. Still I was scared and worried for my child, but I had a sense that God would not take Owen from me. Thank you God!

At RVMC they tried TWICE to get an IV in, TWICE to get a blood draw, and TWICE to get a urine sample through a cathetar. Thank God he responded to all of that with crying. His eyes were still very uncontrolled and he was wobbly.

Urine came back fine, chest Xray came back fine, blood came back with too high of a white blood cell count. Wanted to keep us overnight. I stayed overnight with Owen while Jake went home to be with the other boys and relieve my mom.

This morning they did another blood draw, and his count had only gone down a little and was still considered elevated. They want to keep us the rest of the day, and depending on the blood results of yet ANOTHER blood draw later today, we could either stay or go home. We don't know. The doctors have NO IDEA why he basically became unconscience for a period of time. They are baffled, and worried.

Jake is there now with Owen, and his little helper Dylan. I came home with Aidan to take a quick shower and then I'll head back up for the rest of the day. Just wanted to post.

Thank you to Kim for coming down to check on us. That meant more than you know!
Thanks to my mom for her help and to Jake's parents for coming and checking on us as well, and for getting our truck to us.

If you felt like praying, that would be GREAT and muchly appreciated.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Headlines from 2029

This was posted by my new blogging friend Deb, who also happens to go to the same church as us, and we've met IRL! "Met" her through Tammy's blog. She came up with these headlines that I thought were pretty much so that I asked her if I could repost them on my blog. Obviously she said yes.
ENJOY! haha!!!

Headlines from 2029

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern Unites States Crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!!!! Scientists stumped!

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage…

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking……

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to 17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, 75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 pounds.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for the third consecutive year in Florexico.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut…. LOL (sorry, thought it was funny…..)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative….

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030…..

Thoughtful Aidan

This morning I was making pancakes and Aidan wanted me to hold him so I picked him up gave him loves while I flipped his pancakes. I love that sleepy warm smell to his cheeks when he first wakes up. :D

While I was holding him Owen was in the living room in his Bumbo (on the floor, no worries) and he sneezed and Aidan, without being prompted said, "Bess you baby Oooweeen!"

Ahhhh, so sweet. I love when they say nice things on their own. Yesterday Dylan and Aidan even said "I forgive you" without being prompted when the other would apologize. :D Now granted, I would love that they didn't have to apologize for anything even better, but hey, ya gotta start somewhere! ;-)

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Hungry Dylan


"Mommy, I am still hungry, just like the little catapiwer" (b/c of the book The Hungry Caterpillar)

"Mommy, I fink I'm about to get hungry" (he whispers to me EARLY in the mornings while I am still in bed)

I am sitting here going through GOBS of clothes and thinking about when Dylan and Aidan were babies. I am setting aside my favorites that all three have now grown out of. I want Jake's mom to eventually make me a quilt with scraps from all of them. As I was examining a Hungry Caterpillar pajama set to see if it was "worthy" ;-) I remembered the "catapiwar" comment from Dylan. It is SO cute that he says it. I love it.

Go Giants! And GO ME!

NY Giants 17, New England 14

YEAH! The boys had their faces painted in red and blue with "GO GIANTS!!" and "NYG" and footballs. They were so cute! Their team spirit payed off I guess! Yeah GIANTS!

I sat at home with Owen and watched while I spaced bagged all of the kids' clothes and got a HUGE pile for donations. Know anyone who needs boys clothes?? ;-) The house looks like a disaster with clothing piles everywhere (b/c I not done yet) but my brain hurts from all the sorting. I'm not naturally organized so thinking about it literally hurts my head. BUT, I've done a pretty good job so far! Go ME! :D heehee

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Be thankful you aren't a thought in my head....

.....because you would surely get lost.

WOW the last few days have whizzed by! I can't even really remember what exactly has happened or gone on. Let's see if I can try....

Wednesday I watched the girls and thought that was my last day for the week and that I'd have Thursday and Friday to do stuff for me (translation: focus on my family and the purging that has yet to have happened in any significant amount). That night my sister called at the last minute for me to watch them early the next morning, which I didn't want to do, but agreed to anyway. Now, I LOVE and ADORE my nieces as much as my own kids, so not wanting to watch them had nothing to do with them. It had more to do with my sanity and stress level. When we found out about the move coming so fast, I decided I would not watch them anymore so I could prepare things (and myself) around here. I am REALLY feeling the pressure and stress as the time is really flying by. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. So anyway, I agreed to watch them, after a mini-argument with my sister about how I CAN'T DO IT anymore. I did say I'd do it on M and W b/c those are school days and my niece and Dylan go together, so no biggie there. But other than that, I really can't if I want to take care of our stuff. So all day Thursday I stressed b/c my sister was going to hire some RANDOM person she picked out of the newspaper to watch them. Someone who is NOT state certified BTW. I have issues with that. I don't trust people to watch little kids who don't/won't go through the neccessary hoops to make sure that they are doing it in a safe environment that is being regulated. Maybe it's b/c of all the training I had to go through to have my own daycare on base.....but it just KILLED me to think of my neices going to some random stranger watching my neices. Now I know what some may be thinking "not your problem" and maybe it's not. But would I be saying that if something happened to them? No, I would be saying "I should have just kept doing it b/c it was the right and loving thing to do." So, at the end of the day, making sure my neices were safe and somewhere they would be loved was more important than winning a battle with my sister (the battle being she kept asking me to watch them after I told her I couldn't, and I'm a pushover when it comes to them). So, I've caved and told her I'll watch them until the 12th. After that, I won't really have a house to watch them in. And if I do, I won't want it messed up with 5 kids around b/c that will be the week my sister in law is coming to help me purge and organize. Plus, my neices are going to stay with their dad for two months at the end of this month. :( That makes me sad. :( So does moving away from them. I told my older neice (3) that we were moving to North Dakota and she got really sad and said "I want to go with you." That broke my heart. I love her. I love them both.

Friday was my running around day. I don't think I have taken the boys out for a full day of running errands and such in MONTHS. They did really good too for not having naps....well, until later at dinner. ;-) We had a hair appt for Dylan and Aidan at noon:30 and then we went to see Daddy at work to see if he'd had lunch yet. He had. So, we went and got some lunch and decided to take it home b/c Dylan had to potty and Owen had to eat. While were home Jake called and said to come back and get him b/c he was done for the day. So, we got together after eating and picked up Daddy, only to bring him back home and change out of his BDU's. He said he didn't want people staring at him in the stores! haha! ;-) What is funny to me about that is on base, no one would give him a second look if we ran errands with him dressed like that. So funny. Even off base it wouldn't have been looked at funny.
We went to Target to check out the snowboots someone had told me they had on sale. Well it must have been a good sale b/c they were all gone. Bummer. :( Then we went to G.I. Joe's, or as it is now annoyingly called, Joe's. What's with dropping the G.I.??? Anyway, we found boots for the boys there. CAMO boots! heehee They are SO CUTE. We had picked out a blue pair for Aidan b/c they had it in his size but they didn't for Dylan so we found the Camo ones for Dylan. I REALLY like the boys to match (my SIL is rolling her eyes right now haha!) so I told Jake to check for Aidan's size. They had one up from his size so we tried it on and it worked. yeah! :D I figure with thick wool socks that'll make up the difference. heehee ;-) After that we tried on some snow bibs for them. The pants they had were all too big so bibs it is. And of course, they match.
After Joe's we went to Walmart. I'm not sure why, but we ended up loading up the cart on who knows what. I really don't remember now. ugh. I know we got Aidan a good jacket b/c he really needed a larger one. It's camo too, but the bummer is that Jake wouldn't let me get Dylan a camo one too! :( Dylan DOES have a jacket that fits, but a camo one that matches with brother would be so much cuter. I tried again tonight to get it but Jake said "NO" and I said "we'll see about that." hahaha! Those who know me best know I'll be getting that jacket for Dylan before we move. ;-)
After walmart we went to eat at Black Bear Diner. Dylan has been wanting to eat there for MONTHS. I kid you not, he has specifically been asking to go there and he never forgets about it either. Jake tried ALL afternoon to get him to change his mind to Red Robin but he never did. So, Black Bear it was. And that was the first, and most likely last, time we will go there. The service was less than, Aidan was downright disobedient, and the food was..... okay. That is a bit of a funny story. I can't eat meat with bone in it. At all. I gag, at the very least. So I ordered chicken stuffed with broccoli and cheese....sounded soooo good. It came with a side salad. Well my salad came and the BOYS devoured my salad. I didn't mind so much since it was probably the only veggie they had willingly eaten all day. Then the waitress came back (after about 20 minutes) and said that they were OUT of stuffed chicken. WHA?! Whatever. So I said I'd have the fried chicken. I don't know WHAT possessed me to order that, but for some reason I was thinking of a chicken breast when I said that. So when my plate FINALLY came (another 15-20 minutes) and I saw the BONE chicken...wings, thighs, legs, DRUMSTICK, I almost gagged. I tried to keep my face straight for the sake of the waitress. Jake was shooting me knowing glances and a hidden grin. As soon as she left Jake said "Well I don't know what YOU'RE going to eat for dinner tonight" hahaha!! Seriously. Thank goodness for the coleslaw and fried squash and zucchini that came with my meal. Oh and the HONKIN' piece of bread. I tried, really I tried to eat the chicken, but I almost threw it all up on the table after two bites. I couldn't do it.
I also ordered a blackberry milkshake to go. I didn't taste it until we were out in the truck. It was like I was drinking freezing cold tasteless paste with bits of tire pebbles. Seriously. No flavor. At all.
Jake wanted to go to DQ for his dessert, so while we were there I ordered myself a chicken strips basket! haha!! We stopped at his parents house and I ate my food and gave them the fried chicken (we took it with us b/c SOMEONE would eat it) and the milkshake. haha! Even my MIL thought the shake had no taste. I had a LAAAAAAME night of eating out. It's kind of funny thinking back on it though.

Today my mom said she'd take the boys so we could work around here unbothered. Well this morning the phone rang and I didn't get it and let the machine get it b/c we were still in bed. It was mom so I had Dylan get me the phone and I called her back. Apparently it was AFTER 9!! How in the world all five of us slept that late I don't know, but I was happy about it!! :D Told her I'd bring them over later. Jake took them around 11. I had a hair appt at 2 that I completely forgot about until Kathy (our WONDERFUL hair lady) reminded me about it yesterday when I was there for the boys. So we had a bit of time to clean before I had to go. Jake was going to drop me off and go to Sportmans Warehouse. After he dropped me off I called and said "come back and get me" b/c Kathy decided we could wait another month on my color. haha!! So we visited instead and she held Owen a while. ;-)

I went with Jake to SW and we both tried on snowboots. I got a REALLY cute suede pair. That was actually all they had for women...suede. But mine are really cute and don't even look like snowboots. They are temperature rated for -40* so I think I'll be okay. haha! ;-) We got some more winter weather accessories and headed out. We went back to walmart b/c we forgot stuff yesterday. I got a bunch of space bags for clothes and linens and we got a lot of household cleaners so we can really get to work on our move out checklist around here. We really want our full refund back. $$$$$ ;-) After all that we grabbed some dinner and picked up the boys and came home and we ate. Now we're just sitting around hanging out. Actually, me and the boys are hanging out. Jake is cleaning the bathrooms. hahaha!! Ahhh, this is the life. ;-)


This last week I have spent a considerable amount of time online researching homeschooling. It really just sort of fell into my lap. I was browsing blogs and following links and happened upon this website. I really delved into it and have been totally captivated by it and the women that contribute to it. That has led me to other homeschooling blogs that I have really enjoyed. One blog is about UNSCHOOLING and it has really made me think about a lot as a mother. Her main blog is really good too.

All of the stuff I have been reading has been very inspiring and has led to blogs of amazing women. I feel very blessed to have "stumbled" upon these sites. I almost wonder if God is tapping my shoulder again? I've talked to Jake about some of it, just so he knows where my heart is wandering on this issue. I had thought a few years back that I would want to homeschool, and then I decided I didn't think I could be that disciplined and just kind of let it go. Now after reading all of this stuff I see that there are many different options for homeschooling. It doesn't seem that daunting actually. And after reading the unschooling blog, I see that I am already teaching them. I just didn't realize it. That kind of inspires me to take it to the next level.
I think I am going to give homeschooling a lot of thought in the next year. I will research it a lot and try to even incorporate some of it into our lives and see how it goes before I really commit to it for Dylans first "official" year. It IS something I really WANT to do, I just don't know if I am CAPABLE of doing it. I have a lot of reasons for wanting to do it too, one of which is b/c with our lifestyle, they would be changing schools every couple of years.

Another thing that I noticed was how much these women really trusted in God and tried to be good wives and mothers. It was a daily act for them to focus on what kind of wife and mother they were being. I think about being a mom everyday, but sometimes I'm not focused on how I can be better, I'm just focused on getting through the day. And I really don't focus on how to be a good wife. I just sort of wing it there. And to be honest, there is a lot of OLD resentments tied up there that I still have from years ago, and a few that are current that need to be addressed. But even still, I need to put more effort into being the wife GOD wants me to be, even if I am still holding onto past resentments. I am really thankful I found these blogs b/c they have been a great witness to me this last week, and I think will continue to be.

I have been watching the boys lately and really getting emotional when I see them playing together or when I think about moving them away from the ONLY home they have ever known, and grandparents, and cousins, and aunts and uncles, and taking Dylan away from school. He loves his teacher and going to school. I am also scared to be a mom away from my own mom and grandma. They have been there every step of the way and been a real help to me, and almost like second parents when it comes to the boys. Mostly b/c Jake worked so much I really depended on them for help and for company. It gets lonely being home all day when he would work such loooooong hours. I am nervous for that happening in Minot before I have a support system, which could be awhile. In the meantime I am thankful for the internet. ;-)

Jake and I have had a lot going on between the two of us as well. It's been very stressful and trying lately with all the details of this move and things at work are threatening to hinder our move date a bit. It's complicated so I won't go into it here. Mostly just paperwork stuff, but stressful none the less. I don't think he and I have done a very good job of remaining as one through this and it's starting to show. We really need to get on board with eachother and work as a team if we are going to come out of this stronger together. I think we've both just let the stress and shock of it all get to us in a bad way. Moving with an entire family really IS stressful, especially while dealing with our everyday stresses as well. Before when we moved Dylan was just one month old so it really wasn't that bad, and we didn't have NEAR as much stuff as we have now. More crap = more stress. ;-)

Sorry I have nothing funny or even substantial in this blog. It's more of a brain dump tonight. I've really been feeling the nervous butterflies lately and not in a good way. The countdown is on and soon it will be March and we'll be on our way to North Dakota!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Quote of the day....

Dylan to Jake tonight while they were playing:

"Daddy! If YOU jump you will break the whole house!!!"

hahahaha!!! That's awesome.

Gotta give some love!


My flower girl and ring bearer are all grown up with a blog all their own! *sniff*

I am so looking forward to seeing what they have in store for blogland! ;-) Both are AMAZING talents and even more amazing kids! Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Some Pretty Amazing Art

I ran acrossed this tonight.

UH-MAY-ZING. Seriously.

I found it by clicking on a Yahoo link about a guy who created an entire oil painting just by using the oil from FRENCH FRIES. That was kinda gross, but his art is amazing. I stared at his page, jaw dropped most of the time. Check it out.

Dylan's Alphabet


I'm a little pee


This was Dylan's version of the alphabet tonight at bedtime! hahahahaha!!!! How cute is that?

Slumber party with mom!

Since Jake was gone last night I decided that we'd toss the normal routine out the window and just chill last night. The boys played like crazy and then sat in front of the boob tube for awhile. They were tired but in all honesty, I didn't want them to go to bed at their normal time either. I know, mean mom. ;-) I hate being home alone after the boys go to bed when it's that creepy quiet in the house.
Around 8:30/9 I suggested we make COOKIES! I wrote down the word in big letters on a piece of paper and made Dylan sound it out before we made them. He was SO EXCITED when he figured out what it was! So, we made cookies. That was interesting. Luckily Owen was asleep so I could give the boys all of my attention, which was definately needed. They took turns adding ingredients and watching the mixer mix the dough. We had a few close calls b/c Aidan thought he might like to stick his hand in the mixer....caught him just in time. Goodness that kid has NO FEAR. Dylan on the other hand was very cautious. ;-) I spooned out the dough onto the cookie sheet....I had them point to where they wanted me to put it since I wasn't letting them touch the dough. I didn't want to deal with that mess. Aidan was a sneaky little stink...he kept sticking his finger in the dough and eating it, to which I said "you are going to get sick if you keep eating that!" I was nervous he'd have an upset tummy all night. Luckily he didn't.
After the cookies came out of the oven I let them have ONE. They were so excited to see their "creation." haha! I should have anticipated some whining after that b/c they wanted MORE cookies. I finally suggested something else to do....BOOKS. They grabbed a bunch of books from their room and brought them out the couch. We piled on the couch and read all of them. That was kind of fun b/c they actually sat there and paid attention! They rarely sit for that long during books. ;-) After books I let them get into our bed and watch a movie. "Mozart Sleepy Time" haha! ;-) wink wink! They thought they were getting to watch a movie and I knew they were getting a chance to wind down. I should say I THOUGHT they were actually.... I found them in there playing about 10 minutes later! ha! Stinkers. I had been feeding Owen in the living room and could hear them giggling. We turned off the movie and went into their room for prayers and tucking in. I didn't hear a peep out of them all night! I was happy!

Around 1 a.m. when I was heading to bed I went and got Dylan up to go to the bathroom. He decided again last night he wanted to go without a diaper. I got him up, he went and I put him back to bed. Around 3 he climbed into bed with me and I barely noticed. I was so tired! All I remember was him saying "will you get my paci out of my bed?" and I rolled over and went back to sleep! HAHA!! I can't believe I didn't go get it for him! THat makes me laugh. He managed fine without it apparently b/c he went to sleep too. At 6 a.m. he SHOT straight up in bed and startled me. I said "what's wrong bud?" and he said "PEE. I HAVE TO PEE" haha! I said "quick, get to the bathroom quick!" and he ran in there. Luckily he made it fine. :D I checked our bed and it was dry thankfully! We went back to bed but the Owen was up to eat so I brought him to our bed too. I think we were able to sleep about two more hours after that. I still didn't roll out of bed though until 9:30. haha! I love just laying in bed even when you're still awake. It's nice and cozy. Dylan on the other hand was up. He is always up the minute he SENSES daylight!

It's raining/snowing off and on today. Everytime I look out the window it's different. Hopefully the roads won't be TOO bad for Jake coming home. I'll be glad when he's home.

Today my grandma is having her lung biopsy. :( I hope that goes well and that she makes it through it fine and that it comes back okay. Praying praying praying it's not cancer.

Laundry is beckoning.....

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Okay so I lied....

.... and now the snow has coated our grass, street, truck, mailbox, bushes, and trees. God are you giving us a glimpse of North Dakota???


It's Raining It's Pouring The Children Are Snoring....

All the kids are napping and Jake and I are sitting here on the couch listening to the water through the gutters and watching the extremely heavy snow fall. These flakes, er chunks, of snow are HUGE. It isn't sticking though, which is fine with me. We'll have our fair share of stuck on snow in about another month. That's right, another month. We have a little over 30 days before we begin our trek to North Dakota. So far I have only cleaned out the toys. In fact, here is an excerpt from an email I sent to my VERY organized friend. She said she was CLAPPING as she read it she was so excited for me. She knows I have not a single organizing bone in my body. ;-)

"Today I did AWESOME (if I do say so myself) with the toys. I set up bins for organizing/sorting and then I set up two mesh laundry baskets and I told Dylan that one was for toys to keep and one was for toys to give to other little boys who didn't have as many toys. I said we would take them to the Goodwill store. Later tonight he said "Who is Mr. Goodwill and why does he want to take my toys?" hahahaha! I thought I would die. ANyway, he FILLED the mesh basket for donations! YEAH!!That was close to half of their toys! I was so proud of him! He picked everything to go in there too and every time he said "I think I will give this to other little boys" :D We organized the toys we were keeping and got everything put away and the entire room vacuumed up, even moved furniture! :D We rearranged their room (not that it really matters b/c we don't have much longer here but he enjoyed it) and got everything set up all neat. I even have an entire garbage bag full of stuff to trash. It was broken toys, paper cups (they get their own water from the fridge when they want and I don't always know), broken crayons, paper airplanes that had seen better days. All that kind of stuff. A WHOLE BAG! OMGosh!! ;-) I hope we can keep it that way. Now we need to go through their clothes. I think I will let them do the same thing with those too..... pick which ones they want to keep and which ones the wany to donate. That seemed to work well and Dylan really enjoyed doing it. I say "Dylan" b/c Aidan really didn't get what we were doing. I had to direct him a lot."

So that was my big cleaning/organizing/purging event of the week. Lame I know, but for an unorganized girl like me, it's a big deal.
My sister in law is coming to help me purge/organize in the middle of February...just in time for the movers. I am SO EXCITED. She was totally born with the organizing gene (I am convinced there is such a thing) and she has graciously agreed to drive from Portland down here to help me. Have I mentioned that I love her? haha!
My mom has offered to help me, but she works and has little spare time. Plus, the combo of the two of us would result in very little purging I think.
My sister has also offered to help, but I need someone to boss me around and with me and my sister I think we'd both just end up staring at a large pile. ;-)
So, my sister in law it is. Teresa, THANK YOU! If I haven't said it enough, THANK YOU! ;-)

Tonight Jake and I are MAYBE going on a date. Maybe. It all depends on what we can do on ZILCH. haha! I'm thinking just to hang out period would be nice but we'll see. My mom is taking the older kiddos to the new Veggie Tales movie so we'll be home with just Owen for a while, then she's taking all of them so he and I can have some time together. Need to take advantage of that as much as we can before we move, b/c who knows when that will happen again. I'm a little nervous about that aspect of things when we move to Minot. Really, can we make it with no babysitter so we can go out ALONE once in a while? Or are we going to have to improvise and do the date thing AT HOME after the kids go to bed? I'm sure we'll figure out's just uncharted waters right now.

OH! News..... I can't believe I forgot this before. Jake talked to the housing department at Minot and they said we qualify to be on the four bedroom housing list and it's a 0-30 day wait! YEAH! I'm very happy about that. My hope is that once we get to the base we will have a house to move into asap. Not sure if that is realistic of me at this point, but that guy sure gave me reason to hope!

What I said about the snow not sticking, I take that back. It's sticking. A lot.

Okay how about now???

I really really like this one. BUT it doesn't have the blogger toolbar thingy at the top and that is sort of frustrating.

uuuggghhh. I'll live with this a while and see. I really like the coffee cup.


Friday, January 25, 2008

What do you think???

I'm not sure if I like the new pad. I don't like the section for my blog part being so skinny and I'm not sure I love the font. ;-) I wonder if I can change that.......

I like the layout, I do. I think it will take some getting used to.

If you are reading this...let me know what you think.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Just thought I'd share......

Dylan and Aidan are playing with the cardboard tubing from a paper towel role and Dylan held it up to his eye and said "ARRR Matey!" and I said "buddy you crack me up!" and that reminded me of something.....
A few weeks ago he kept saying to us "You crack! You crack me!" and that was all. We couldn't figure out why he was saying that until one day I said "You crack me up!" and then I realized..... "YOU CRACK" is his "you crack me up" hahaha! So funny the way their little brains work.
Oh my gosh, right now they are playing "baseball" with the tubing and a squishy ball and Dylan is telling Aidan "throw it on the bat! ON THE BAT! You gotta throw it ON the bat!" hahahaha! Oh my gosh. I said "no bud, I think you are supposed to hit it with the bat" heehee
Okay that's all. I need to do this more often b/c I have a feeling once we get to Minot, the grandparents might start reading the blog to catch up on the kiddos. ;-)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it!

This was the top news story in the Minot Daily Newspaper. I'm just sayin.....

New pea unveiled at growers convention

A plant pathologist at the University of Montana is currently researching a pea hybrid with slow glucose release when eaten, but at the same time will stand and yield like standard field peas.

Lanita DID warn me that I could be forced to listen to the farm report in the mornings instead of music! hahaha!


Okay I am really bad at remembering what the boys say, and they say some pretty hilarious stuff. So, I'm taking a few minutes to think of a few....prompted by what Dylan just now said. LOL
He brought over a banana to me and said "Mommy, is this banana right?" I said "You mean RIPE?" and he said "yeah ripe. Is this banana right?" hahaha!
One night we had lasagna for dinner here about two weeks ago. He kept calling it "desagna" I don't know why he just did. He can say his L's pretty okay most of the time now, but for some reason lasagna starts with a "D" to him. He said "Hey MOMMY! Desagna starts with DOG!!" hahaha!
"Hey Mommy! (everything starts with HEY MOMMY) Fourty starts with FOUR!"
"Hey Mommy! Twenty starts with twenty!" Oh man that one made me roll. LOL
Or this one was HILARIOUS. "W starts with walrus!" hahahaha!!!
In school that is how they learn letters. Words that start with a certain letter they focus on for that day. So he is always saying that other words start with other words. So funny.
Like "Hey mommy! Aidan starts with Apple!"
"Dog starts with Dylan!"
Aidan likes to talk about monsters a lot. He likes to SHOOT monsters a lot. He comes up to me and WHISPERS that there are monsters and he is going to shoot them. Have you ever heard a two year old whisper? It is the funniest thing ever. It makes me laugh so hard! I love it.
One thing that DOESN'T make me laugh so hard.....when he is mad he says "shut your mouth!" Okay I MUST CLARIFY HERE: He did NOT learn that from us. 100% did not. Couldn't have. When Jake and I went to Lincoln City back in November the boys were shuffled around between my mom, grandma, and my sister....and when we came back, that was the first thing we heard him say. WONDERFUL. ;-) We are working on that. BUT, Jake and I secretly giggle at it sometimes. Bad I know.
Aidan is also the lover. He loves to hug and say "I wuv you mommy" I love how he says love. WUV.
He loves Owen too. He gets really close to his face and whispers "hey baby hey baby hey baby it's okay it's okay it's okay shhh shhh shhh" heehee Then he pats his head, kisses his cheek and said "I wuv you baby Oweeeeen"
Ahhhhh, I love to hear my kids talk....SOMETIMES.

Monday, January 21, 2008 least it feels like it.

I've been a bit down in the dumps the last few days. A bit mopey, a little sappy, kinda grumpy, VERY TIRED. A few of my nearest and dearest think it's because I've got a lot on my plate right now with the move and all, and that even though I've not really DONE anything the last several days, my mind has been racing and that can be tiring. Maybe. Maybe they are right.

I couldn't put my finger on why I had this "defeated" feeling. I am happy that we are moving, finally. I am happy with where we are going. I think this is going to be a good move for our little family. But I am feeling a little anxiety about it. About the transition. About not being around family. About settling down. I have been sitting around STARING at my house, watching the boys destroy it piece by piece. They are lucky I've mustered up the energy to feed and clothe them, nevermind cleaning the place up. I think they know I am weak and they have power over me right now. ;-) haha. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way. I should be happy. I should be bouncing off the walls. I should be grateful and thankful for everything that's happening in our life right now. But I just can't shake this feeling. Or the wondering why I feel like it. Until tonight. When I went to bed.

A few weeks ago I had decided to try to go along with the "FLYlady" method of housekeeping. I am so unorganized and get distracted so easily (evil evil computer) and I would rather spend the day playing with the boys or staring at Owen while he tries to master crawling. :D I had printed out the schedules and routines. I had been researching it online. I had even shined my kitchen sink. That is the first thing you are supposed to do. I read through my print outs at night before bed trying to commit it to memory and practice it the next day. I felt like I was making progress. Until this last thursday, when I knew our lives were changing....pronto. And that is when the "funk" settled in, and I couldn't figure out why. I still can't explain why I am so gosh awful tired these last few days, but tonight as I laid down to bed, I figured out why I have been in a mopey mood. I saw those papers laying on my night stand and instantly my heart sank. I knew that what I was feeling defeated. I had stopped doing what I set out to do to accomplish my goals. It wasn't setting right with me and it was affecting my days. I just didn't put the two together. Now that I know, I need to fix it. I hate responsibility. ;-)

Another bummer, to say the least..... my mom told me tonight that my grandma might have lung cancer. WONDERfreakingFULL. Last week they thought maybe her cancer had spread to her bones. They ran tests, nope, no bone cancer. Her lymphoma checked out to be okay, nothing bad there. BUt oh wait, there's a hot spot on her lung that "lit up like a christmas tree" that they want to biopsy. All signs point to NOT GOOD. So as I am laying in bed tonight realizing I have felt defeated these last few days, I started also thinking about my grandma. Maybe b/c I had just filled Jake in on it, but still, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Then I started crying. I was laying there crying thinking about how fast people go with lung cancer. Thinking about everyone I knew who had lung cancer and how quickly they died after getting lung cancer. I started getting sick at my stomach thinking about how we aren't going to be here and if she has lung cancer how much time does she have left and will I be able to come home "when and if." My mind was like a runaway train. I coudn't stop it. I hate when that happens.

THEN, yes it gets better, THEN I start thinking about how I have been treating my family and my home. Like nothing. I have sat around and sulked b/c I can't DO what I want to DO...which is develope a lifestyle routine around here I can live with and still have time to spend with the kids w/o worrying about what mess they are making. I tend to be a black and white person, and that along with my perfectionism (yes, messy people can be perfectionists.... it's a long story....really it is....there's a whole book about it) doesn't bode well for me. I don't like distractions, I can't focus well with distractions. ANYTHING can be a distraction for me too. The tv, the phone, the radio, THE COMPUTER, the kids, Jake, anything. I need complete silence and NO ONE around me for me to focus on what I want done. Does this mean I have ADHD?? ;-) haha. Seriously? Does it? ;-) Anyway, that doesn't bode well for me b/c I am a SAHM who should be able to cope with these things. I really should. It's kind of my job, and I think I would be fired by now in the real world. What was the point of me telling this part??? Oh yes....... now that I have finally settled on a method to control my madness, it all gets tossed. Yes it is what we were hoping/praying/waiting for, but the timing, THE TIMING....God you are a funny funny man I tell ya. ;-) It all gets tossed, thrown out the window, and instead of being able to focus on the routine I had layed out before me, I now have to do the opposite....ransack my house to get rid of stuff, focus on the details of moving, prepare prepare prepare....and I don't feel like I can right now. It is overwhelming. And that makes me feel guilty.

I know I should be so grateful and on my hands and knees thanking God for taking care of this moving situation, but I find myself feeling slightly annoyed at the timing. The timing just SUCKS. I think I feel that way mostly b/c I am TERRIFIED of driving 1500 miles in the winter, and I am TERRIFIED about my grandma....oh yeah....and my mom. She's kind of got her own CRAP going on as well that I am worried about. Divorces never turn out well and to be honest, I am worried about her and scared for her. ANd I want to be here for her, but I won't be. :( That breaks my heart. :( I don't want to just be a voice on the phone for her, I want to be a shoulder, a hug, a smile for her. :( Between my grandma and the divorce, I know she is hurting right now. And scared.
Anyway, back to the timing..... I know it is not my is God's timing. I KNOW THAT. I KNOW THAT. I KNOW THAT. I know that with everything in me but I also fight against it. What IS IT about us that makes us fight God even when we know He is right?? HUH? I wish someone would tell me.....b/c I hate it.
I need to trust God. I need to trust His timing. I need to trust that He will take care of my grandma. I need to trust that He will be the shoulder, the voice, the smile for my mom. I need to trust that He will get us to Minot and take care of us and provide for us while we are there. I do trust Him, I just don't trust me. Does that even make sense?? I don't know....all I know is, I think I have "broken." Kind of like when a fever "breaks" it's all better from there on out. The fever has broken, you start to feel better. You peak with sickness and a high fever and then BAM, it breaks and you are on the road to a better you. I hope that is what happened tonight as I was laying in bed crying with all of these thoughts and worries and feelings running through my head. Those aren't ALL of what has been bothering me, but they are the biggies. I think the next thing would be worrying about the boys and the move.....but that'll come later.

If you are reading this, please pray for me. Please pray for my grandma and my mom.

For some reason I am reminded of a poem this friend I had in high school wrote.
"I need a peace Lord help me now,
I need to let go, I don't know how.
Carry my pain, see me through,
Let it bring me closer to you."

AMEN. Now back to bed. ;-)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Minot North Dakota. Like it or not, here we go!

So a bit of news. Just a bit. ;-)
My stomach is cramping as I type this out. Not that I regret choosing Minot, just that I am nervous about the transition and.....the drive. Seriously.

Okay, let me back up. Thursday Jake called his commander and said:
J: so, how's it looking with my orders? Does it look like I'll be getting them next month or not?
C: let me call you back.
(calls back)
C: you can have your pick between ABQ New Mexico, or Minot North Dakota. Call your wife. Make a decision. Call me back. BTW, you only have a few minutes.

GREAT!!!! Seriously? A few minutes to make a life altering decision???? And whatever happened to just GETTING your orders? You don't get to pick! That's crazy! Nothing about this was the norm by any means. It was throwing us off big time! I said to Jake "why don't they just PICK a place and send us?" and he said "Do you really want them to pick?" Well no, I guess I didn't.

After much thought and consideration (as much as a few minutes would allow) we chose Minot. I know, I know.... pretty much EVERYONE thinks that was a bad choice, but believe me, we have GOOD reasons for choosing Minot. In the long run, it will be the best choice for our family. Jake and I are in total agreement on this. Now the part I DON'T like....we are moving in 44 days. 44 DAYS!!!! We will be driving through the northernmost states in the dead of winter....with all three kids....and me and my anxiety........ and paranoia. That is truly the only part of this whole thing that has me worried/bothered. I am a little stressed though about all the purging and organizing we will have to do before the movers come. That part makes me stomach turn and my heart race.I am NOT GOOD at organizing efficiently. I get overwhelmed with it. I shut down. That is what I did yesterday and the day before. COmpletely shut down and didn't do a THING. Not even the normal things I should have been doing for the sake of a picked up house. I just had too much clutter in my mind to focus. This makes me nervous for the next few weeks.

So anyway, that is what is going on around here. Praise the Lord the grandparents are a godsend today. My mom has offered to take the boys today for a few hours so we can focus on stuff here (b/c seriously, we have to start NOW) and Jake's mom has offered to take Dylan overnight for the first time ever! :D This should be exciting for him. I hope he does well, as he's never spent more than a couple of hours over there by himself, and that was before Aidan was it's been a while.

Off to pack up the turds, as we so lovingly call them, and drop them with my mom for a few hours. Think anyone'll notice if I go shopping instead? I think I need some retail therapy!! ;-)

Actually, if anyone knows a good organizer and purger, send 'em my way!

OH and if you're wondering WHY we chose Minot, I'll save that for another post.

Monday, January 14, 2008

So sad how easily I am amused....

Tonight I was feeding Owen his rice cereal. I've been feeding this to him for a few days now and he's not all that great at opening his mouth. He just smiles. That's it....smiles and I try to slide the food right in. This has been a bit frustrating. Not nearly as bad as when Dylan was a baby.....the fact that he didn't eat right away when we started foods sent me into a tearful fit. I just KNEW I'd have an anorexic baby. And truly, to this day, he is still my pickiest eater. Aidan, on the other hand, ate ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. There was nothing he wouldn't eat. So now there's Owen. He seems to like what I'm feeding him, he just won't open his mouth. A perfect blend of Dylan and Aidan. We should have named him Daidan. Ha! Now there's a name.

ANYWAY, (man I get sidetracked!) tonight Owen OPENED HIS MOUTH! I know. Ridiculously lame to get THISEXCITEDABOUTBUTIAM! I was clapping and laughing and saying "YEAH!!" over and over again. You would have thought the kid stood up and walked across the floor. I loved it. It sent such joy straight to my mommy heart. I couldn't have been prouder.

So funny........ I crack myself up.

Processing (I'm real original with titles huh?)

So I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately (what's new huh?) and I think I have to reprioritize my life. God had been whispering in my ear for a while about scaling back. I ignored it. Then He started tapping me on the shoulder. I shrugged that off as well. I found it annoying actually. Have you ever had someone tap or poke you over and over and over again? It becomes annoying and painful. And that is what it has become. Painful. "God! You are becoming a pain in my shoulder!" I would find myself thinking. I chose to live with the pain and not do anything about it.

Now He is messing with my gut and my heart and my emotions. He is relentless I tell you! Relentless! I've had a pit in my stomach for over a week now. I've had this nagging feeling in my heart and I want to cry whenever I think about all that He is wanting me to think about right now...... B/c sometimes I do think about it. Sometimes I cave in and say "Okay God, you've got me. I'll start processing through this stuff asap" and then when I start, I get all weepy and sick feeling. So, I retreat. Where do I retreat?? Here. My computer. The internet. Other blogs. I am an avid blog reader. I may not always leave comments, but I read blogs (almost) all day every day. My grandma and my mother-in-law think this is the strangest thing a person could waste, er spend, their time doing. I compare it to people watching. I could sit and watch people for HOURS. I love it. Put me in the food court at the mall with something yummy to sip on (eating would be better actually!), and I'm golden. I would also prefer to wear sunglasses so no one would know I am STARING, but that would just look odd in the mall.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, retreating.

This worked for some time, until God started leading me to blogs that addressed this very issue!! What is WITH Him??? Seriously?! Can't a girl just run away w/o someone looking for her?? So, my new escape plan was turning out to be a problem. Topics that God had been trying to get me to think about for some time kept popping up in these blogs, it was very tricky now that I look back on it. What better way to get my attention. There was no way I WASN'T going to read, so LITERALLY all of a sudden I could see God everywhere. More specifically I could see what He had been trying to get me to see for all these weeks, you see? Have I lost anyone yet? ;-) It made me think. HARD. It made me cry. It, again, made me sick at my stomach.

I don't like change. I don't like admitting I've been wrong. I don't like admitting I am currently doing something wrong. I don't like relenting. I like being right. I like thinking that I am making the best choices possible. I like to be the one to point out errors, not be the one pointed at. This is all very embarrassing for me to admit, but in an attempt to be real and honest....there it all is. I say THAT b/c all of these blogs I have been reading have been very real and honest and in that they caused me to think. So for that I am grateful, and can now only ask the same of myself.

Some things I have sensed God calling me to do:

Pray. To pray for anyone and everyone I know, no matter what it is. You see, I tend to make a judgement for myself as to whether something really NEEDS prayer. Stupid and selfish. EVERYTHING needs prayer! HELLO!!!! Selfish b/c I think my motivation behind that is thinking "like I don't have enough to do already, I have to add one more thing to my list!" What's funny to me is that I have known this for weeks, possibly even months, that God was calling me to a serious life of prayer. Of course, I ignored it, and just here recently, He has CLEARLY brought about people for me to pray for. Before, I could just sense it on my heart to do it. I would do it with an "alright FINE" attitude. But recently, He has been ever so CLEAR. People have actually come to me and specifically ASKED. In order to come to me and ask me for prayer is not so easy. You have to specifically find me. I'm not some person you'll see around town, or walking down the street or even talk to on the phone all that often (unless you live in Wisconsin or Las Vegas! ha!). So the fact that I had people specifically asking was God saying to me, "I will get you. I will find you. I won't give up on you." So last night when my dear friend (who shall remain nameless at her request) asked me to pray for something in particular and said she only thought to ask me, I knew it was God speaking. I knew it. So, I relent. In fact, I was moved to NEAR know, when you get all choked up and think that if you don't hold your breath you may start bawling. That.

Live a better life. Now I know that encompasses A LOT. For me though, it's been very specific. Certain areas that are specific only to me and my life, I have felt God saying "this is not right. This needs to change. This needs to be better. YOU can be better." It would do me no good to clarify here, b/c quite honestly it would be too difficult. Mostly, it's just the way I live my life and the things I think.....that only God knows I think. It's funny..... having only God know what you really think. B/c you tend to keep things to yourself that you don't want to be called on. Things you don't want to be held accountable for. The funny part is that the only person it matters to is God and He is the only person who could possibly know even the things you are hiding. Now I understand if that last sentence was jumbled for some, it was for me too when I reread it. But I still know what I meant. ;-) Basically, my point is, you get "found out" anyway. God will take of you. And I don't mean "take of you" like make sure you have food and clothing and are healthy and all that jazz. I mean He will take care of your SINFUL nature. Like when the boys get in trouble I say "I'll take of you" and I march them back to their room for a stern disciplinary action (and no I'm not talking a spanking, although I am a firm believer in that). God has been "taking care of me" on a very personal level lately. *OUCH* It hurts me ego more than anything, which in the end is a good thing. ;-)

Be a better example. This sort of goes with the previous topic. Once I start living a better life, my example will just naturally follow. So this one is sort of a double whammy.

DO LESS. I think I blogged about this before. I have not been so good at meeting that goal. #$&$&^% RESOLUTIONS!!!! God keeps pressing on my heart to turn OFF the tv, to CLOSE my laptop, to UNPLUG my phone. Seriously. Unplug it. I have been ignoring Him obviously. And it is causing more pain than pleasure. Funny thing about ignoring God, it hurts. I can't tell you how many times I have seen in blogs that someone has taken a "blogging break" or fasted from something that was taking up too much time and energy and thought. It really got me thinking. Thinking, not doing. Yet. I think this one is the hardest of all of them actually.

Something else that has really come up a lot.....The Proverbs 31 woman. Ya know, I kind of have a love/hate feeling about her. While I really want to BE her, I don't feel like that is attainable for me. That is where the hate part comes in. *I use hate lightly* My honest to goodness true hearts desire is to strive to be that Woman, and I think *KNOW* that God knows that. I think that is where all these other things come into play. I can't attain Proverbs 31 with all these distractions and "less than" habits. Now that is JUST ME. That's not the case for everyone. Just me. And God knows me. I think that is where all His tweaking is coming from. ;-) "Be patient, God's not finished with me yet" I think this saying is fitting. ;-)

That's about all I want to delve into right now. "WHAT?! THERE'S MORE?!?" Yes, I am sorry so to say, there is more. I'll save it though. This is enough for now. Going to go chew my cud now.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Death to Stuart Little!!

We have a mouse. A mouse in our house. In our house we have a mouse.
Apparently I've been reading too much of Mother Goose Rhymes. The rhyming is rubbing off. ;-)

Actually we have had a mouse for a while, it lived IN the walls up in the corner of the living room. It's little scrapings sounded like a bird in the gutter. So, for a long time I thought it was a bird in the gutter. One night I said to Jake "listen, there's a bird in the gutter!" and Jake said "NO, that's a mouse in the walls." How nice that he has known this for some time and didn't see the need to mention it. The next night, I noticed some blue plastic pieces coming out of a cabinet onto the stove. We open the cabinet door. There sits my BLUE bag of coconut shavings from the truffles I made at Christmas. Jake takes it out of the cabinet. HUGE hole in the bottom!!!! He takes out my bag of brown sugar.....Hole in the bottom. My bag of powdered sugar..... Hole in the bottom. My bag of granulated sugar...... You guessed it.....hole in the bottom! However, my huge bag of flour sat untouched by the sugar high mouse.

Can you just imagine this mouse?! After all that sugar can you imagine what he must look like? Like a mouse on crack I am sure. I would love to see the damage he has done to the insides of my walls on that sugar high!

So, Jake sets a trap that night. He is so excited about catching this mouse. He is talking the "The Godfather" while he is setting up this trap. He is entirely too amused by this, and entirely too excited to trap a mouse. A day goes by, the mouse outsmarted Jake twice and nibbled the PB just around the edges of the trap. Another day goes by, Jake was outsmarted by Stuart Little again. Yes, I call him Stuart Little. Finally, in the wee morning hours of the next day, 2:30 am to be exact, I am up nursing Owen and I fall asleep. I wake up to this LOUD WHACK and I jump. It's him. It's the mouse. It's Stuart Little. I jump up, Owen still attached (literally) to me and I walk as fast as I can down the hall. When I walk past the kitchen I can HEAR him in there flopping around in the cabinet. He isn't dead. HE ISN'T DEAD. GROSS. The trap keeps hitting the cabinet doors and I am afraid he will fall out.....not afraid for him, afraid for ME who would have to SEE him. EW. So, I wake up Jake. Jake is NOT happy. "It's 2:30 in the freaking morning! Are you kidding me? I don't want to deal with this now!" He is not mad at me. He is mad at the mouse for deciding to get caught at such an ungodly hour. He checks on the mouse. He comes back to bed. He says "The mouse is not dead, it just caught him by his leg, he's just laying there." EW EW EW EW. I lay awake for a long time after that thinking of the mouse, afraid he will get lose and then die in the walls somewhere and stink up my house.

The next morning at breakfast the boys and I are at the table eating our yummy whole wheat pancakes and Jake decides to check on the mouse. He is now dead. I say he had a heart attack. Dylan of course wants to see the mouse. At first I thought "why not?" and then at second thought decided it would probably NOT be a good idea. He still wants to see it. Jake thinks it will be okay. So, I give in. I don't DARE look. I will pass out, I know it. Just the knowledge that there is a mouse behind me is almost too much to deal with. I watch Dylan instead. His eyes get H.U.G.E. HUGE! All he says is "ooooooooooh." It was hilarious! I laugh to do the impression b/c it is so funny. The look on his face was priceless. I think he regretted looking.

YEAH! We got our culprit. End of story. Right?


Last night I was laying in bed w/Dylan b/c when I was checking on them he said "mommy will you lay down with me for a few minutes?" How do you say no to that? While I was laying there, I heard......scratching. And there are no gutters on the outside of Dylans wall halfway down. ANOTHER MOUSE. Good grief.

Here we go again.........