A whole 'lotta nothin' goin' on!

Seriously, my life is booooooooooring. At least it is right now. We have not been up to much lately. Saturday night I went to the races with my mom. That was kinda fun. The older two boys stayed with Jake and my grandma kept Owen. I pumped before we left b/c I didn't want to pump in the nasty bathrooms while we were there. PLUS, who wants to lug around that big pump? Even if it does come in a discreet carry bag? We sat behind this family and the dad had FOUR girls and his g/f was pg too. He was there with a guy who appeared to be his brother b/c that guys kids kept calling him "uncle." They were half of our entertainment. ;o) At one point, his YOUNG (younger than Aidan) nephew was blowing raspberries at him and he looked at him and laughingly said "I'm gonna f***ing kick your a**!" and then laughed really hard. OMG!! :O Some people are crazy, seriously. Who talks to a little kid like that??? Joking or not.
At one point I got up to go to the concessions to get a snack and I walked by where they were selling beer. I didn't want a beer (why drink piss?) but I noticed they had Smirnoff. YUM. So I got one of those but it came in a beer cup b/c they wouldn't let you have the glass bottle. I went back to our seats in the stands and before I could even take a good sip a COP was kicking me out of there!!! Apparently we were sitting in the family section where alcohol was not allowed! AH HA HA!! Such a rebel I am. ;o)
Sunday we went to church, well, Jake and I and Owen went to church. We left Dylan and Aidan at my grandma's. Everyone was over there all weekend helping my grandma redo her patio. Aidan has Fifth's right now and even though he's not contagious I know that they wouldn't like keeping him in class b/c the rash is so bad. It looks awful. After church we went to granny's and hung out a few and then went and got lunch and brought it home. Then we all napped and dinked around here. The boys went to mom's last night b/c I was really wanting to clean uninterrupted and I felt motivated to do it last night...... for some reason I just wanted them to go last night instead of tonight. So after they went there I finished reading my book and then we picked up and got the house pretty well straightened up. Not perfect, but pretty decent.
It was a good thing the boys were gone last night b/c Owen didn't sleep at all! Okay, he did, but not really. He slept in 30-45 minute increments all night long. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!!!That was miserable for me! B/c of that I laid in bed with him until 11am!! Then I had to get ready to take him to the dr at 3(I thought he had thrush....he doesn't, but I do. ???) and it took me forever to get ready b/c he just cried and cried and criiiiiiied all morning/afternoon. I don't know what is up with him but he has been SO FUSSY.
To make matters worse, on top of the "thrush" that I thought he had and that I think I do have, he has CRACKED me on both sides. OOOOOOOOOOOUCH!!! Seriously, I can deal with mastitis, but the cracks make me want to stop nursing. Seriously. This morning I was crying b/c it hurt so bad and all I could think of was that I wanted to stop nursing and that just broke my heart. :( I called my LC and left her message about it and told her I'd be there at 3 for an appt anyway and to come find me if she could. (she works at the ped's office)
So we get to his appt and I took a bottle of expressed milk for him and I was giving it to him in the room while we waited for the dr to come in. The nurse saw me giving him a bottle and I told her I din't want to attempt nursing him in public while it was so painful. Crying in front of total strangers didn't sound like something I wanted to do today WHILE exposing my boob to nurse. ;o)
So, she went and told the LC that I was giving him a bottle and she came back and said "Nancy said she'd rather you use this (handing me a nipple shield) instead of giving him a bottle" and I started cracking up! I said "I KNEW she would!!!" heehee. I told her I was going to go straight to Target today anyway to buy some so that was good. Then, about five minutes later Nancy comes running in and says "GIVE ME THAT BOTTLE!" ah ha ha!! She took the bottle from me and said "now lift up your shirt!" heehee She got the shield on me right b/c I had no idea how to use it and I didn't want to try until I got home. She got in on and I started nursing and OMGOOOOOOOSH it felt so much better. It didn't hurt at all. I was so grateful! I absolutely looooooooove her. She is a boob saver. :) hehe I am on strict orders the rest of the week though to get the cracks healed up and the suspected thrush cleared up before he gets it. This should be fun.....a few more things to add to my list of "to-do's."
Tonight I ordered all of the stuff for Kacie's baby shower on the first. I am excited. It is going to be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. I can't tell the details here in case she reads it, but I am excited. I hope she likes it. I am putting a lot of thought into the details and I hope it turns out good. :)

Also, STILL no orders. :( How much longer before I really go crazy waiting???

Today was a so-so day. I talked to Lanita earlier while I was driving to the dr's and I just started bawling. I don't know why, but today was teary day. Saturday and Sunday were pretty okay, but today was an off day. I think that sometimes I feel like I just want something that resembles my life back. Not my life before kids, but life with kids..... like right before I got pg with Owen everything was pretty perfect....as much as it could be. I want it back to that, and I don't want it to take a year this time. I just want to feel like ME again. ME with a grip on things. And I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but yeah, that is easier said than done....and it's something I am trying to work on. ...........